Apple
Apple is a company that makes money, computers, ipods, iphones, and money. And also lifelong devotees.
Just The Facts
- Apples are delicious.
- Apple is the brand name of some sleek, shiny, horrendously expensive computers and their accessories.
- Apple was founded by Steve and Steve and Ronald. Jobs, Wozniak, and Wayne, respectively. Ronald Wayne, however, did not make it to the incorporation of the company, which was less than a year after the whole thing began.
Apple=Porn
Apples are the porn stars of electronics. The computers are shiny and sleek, not clunky and as poorly designed for the eyes as many PCs. The iphone is a tiny device encapsulating and consuming its user's life (How sad that a man can be summed up in 32 GBs...). Apple’s iPods range in size and color; everyone can find the perfect device for their pleasure.
Apples are fashionable electronics. What’s expensive (and shiny) is hot, right? (And better made and more durable too) The company has carved out a niche market filled with those creative types of people who make art and videos and other random crap.
Uses for Apple devices
Apples can be used for many things (Legal and illegal things, just like PCs). Some people like to surf the internet using Apple products. Others actually have to work on them (Fun fact: fun). Also, there are currently no viruses that target Apple computers. In layman’s terms, if every computer in the world was infected with swine flu, only the Macs would survive. And maybe those that run Linux or Unix or some other pagan operating system.
And, hey! Those new Apple MacBooks are made out of a single sheet of aluminum! All the better to beat someone ([cough] Windows users [/cough]) up with and still be able to Twitter: “I’m not beating someone up anymore”. Those Dells wouldn’t be able to handle the strain. In the middle of the fight, the screen could fall off - granted, you would then have loose wires to electrocute people with, but what’s the fun in life without the internet scrutinizing your every action?
OH MY GOD. IF YOU PEOPLE f*****g HATE MACS, THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU READ A PAGE ON APPLE?! SERIOUSLY, GET THE f**k OUT!
ReplyI completely agree with all of this.
ReplyOverpriced things that do the same as PC's.
EXCEPT for people like me who have a home studio, MAC has much less cords and more programs (free!) like garageband to help with my studio.
Let me tell you, cords f*****g suck.
This wins, the plain sheer truth, Apple can go F itself.
ReplyGood job Mac fanboys (and girls). You win the 'wasted my money for shiny' award and the 'transferred to Mac because I am too retarded to stop downloading illegal torrents so I stop getting viruses' award and last but not least, the 'I have no more friends because I cant play games with them anymore' award.
ReplyThe only reason there's more viruses on PC is that theres a hell lot of more PCs then macs.
ReplyWow, you found 4 whole viruses that exist? I'm sure that is in every way equal to the amount of windows viruses. Furthermore, OSX isn't just a new GUI on top of linux, like you heard from someone one time. Have you ever actually used linux, or OSX.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesWindows isn't an unusable pile of s**t, i will admit this. And the mac OS isn't flawless either, but you act like people are honestly claiming that macs never have a single problem, which they aren't. They're claiming that they have significantly less problems. This is not hearsay, or something i heard from someone, this is my personal experience using both operating systems, regularly, for most of my life. For instance, i don't have to constantly reformat my mac to keep it running at a reasonable speed. I don't have to constantly run msconfig to look for weird processes that have snuck their way in on the backs of other programs.
Some people do use their computers for things other than games, which in my opinion, is the only place where windows really has the upper hand.
Furthermore, a quality pc will still cost you a pretty penny. Apple doesn't have a marketshare that really compares to a lot of the main PC manufacturers, like dell or hp. Its a simple fact of manufacturing that when you produce more of a product, the price of each unit drops. This combined with the quality and expense of both their cases as well as trackpads, and fitting them neatly into a smaller package easily equals the few hundred extra bucks, which I am more than willing to pay for a solid OS.
Sure, if you're a gamer you're better off with windows... but this is neither due to the fault of the Mac OS, or the strength of windows. It is due, simply, to Microsoft being in bed with all of the developers, and their marketshare. They may have earned their place at the top, but they have just been phoning it in for years.
I think everyone here has missed the point of a COMEDY ARTICLE!
angry nerd is angry. also, your mom deciding to not get an abortion was a stupid idea
You know, add an infographic and you could have just created the Apple Supremacist topic page.
tl;dr.
top spec alienware m17x: £2500. lowest spec Macbook pro 17 inch: £2100. if you want to diss the build quality or specs of alienware computers...
Sorry no, the virus part is right. And I know. And yaknow I would know this cause I've owned 36 of them. I share my love.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesBut not with you. I betcha you got some of those big viruses, a la' coconut crabs or something.
Actually, there have been a few. Not many, and not widespread, but they do exist. According to Computerworld, the first was documented for OS X in February '06. Not to mention the recent iLife '09 bug (infecting Macs via pirate copies of aforementioned software), and a few others scattered about.
And yay for you having spent waaay too much money on overpriced hardware running a shiny GUI on top of a free, 3rd party (though customized) OS kernel.
Wow, I just found 4 that were for current operating systems (three for Macs specifically, and one that affects Macs as well as PCs) after searching for less than a minute. Goodness. It's amazing what self-proclaimed gurus don't know. Oh, but wait. No. You've owned 36 overpriced pieces of hipster bait, so you know more about it than antivirus companies do, I'm sure. *patpat* And they never ever crash, either, do they sparky? Of course they don't. You're so special!
"Macs don't get viruses" is such a cop out. My grandma gets viruses all the time, does that mean that Windows sucks? Yes. But thats not the only reason, they dominate the market share, so they're targeted. And what counts as a virus, really? Just because you mistakenly downloaded an application that does things that you don't expect or don't want doesn't mean that your windows machine magically "got a virus". In my experience, almost all viruses were due to user fault. And to comment on the "Macs don't get viruses", I think a better argument would be "Macs don't have as many, widespread, viruses, and the Mac users usually know enough to not get infected." Linux OSes tend to bebe the only operating systems that are truly secure.
Sorry, the no virus part is wrong.
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