The process of meeting people for the sake of a loving relationship and/or sex. When this procedure involves a man, it is always so that he may eventually (preferably by the end of the first date) have sex with the other party involved.
Women tend to look for that guy in Twilight. By my calculations, this means that they want a 150 year old mysterious man who watches them while they sleep and tells them what they must do, since they clearly must be too simple minded to decide for themselves. That's right, they don't want just any dick, they want a 150 year old one who stalks and controls them, all while acting mysteriously. This is what they refer to as 'romance'.
A warning for men: if you are the type of guy who is into those silent, reserved type girls, you must approach with caution. These creatures may seem innocent, but they usually do the most fucked up shit. This is not necessarily a bad thing though, it just means you need to watch out for those pesty STDs.
Of coarse, not all women do that shit. That would be fucking ridiculous. Some women claim they do the nastiest shit you've ever heard, but once the lights go out, they seem to turn into prudes all of a sudden, like that annoying blonde chick in American Beauty. Why would they do such a thing? Why would they lie to your face. Well it turns out women are pathological liars. They only said all that shit so that they could get some attention. It's kind of sad actually...
Anyways, there also exists crazy bitches. They are about 82% of the female population so it's kind of important to talk about them. These women fuck with your mind. They tell you one thing, but they mean something else. Hell, they probably mean the complete opposite. This attitude is very irritating for men, since they cannot understand this concept. Men are direct. These women are not. Conflict ensues. For example, if a man were to ask a crazy bitch if she was angry at him, she would reply that she wasn't even if she was. The man will then put away those fears that he was hurting her in some way and never think about them again. Yet chances are, the bitch was mad at him and she will keep those angry feelings in until one day, she just won't be able to hold it in any longer. She explodes. And the poor confused bastard who only forgot to buy lactose-free milk for her is faced with an onslaught of insults involving things he did years ago.
Though, at first glance, it may seem that men and women are very different in regards to what they search for in the opposite sex. Through our extensive research with the help of the scientists at Cracked, we have created an unbias and indeed perfect study. We interviewed five 16 year old boys (who are seemingly addicted to porn) and five 16 year old girls (who love Twilight). The results are quite shocking. We have found that the two actually want the exact same thing. Men want to control (even through they have proven they can't), and women want to be controlled (even though they try to deny it).
The only problem is in regard to sex. Men want it now. Women want it later.
Our research team has decided that there is only one thing to do regarding this problem. Men should be rewarded with a prostitute after each date, while women should be treated with the company of a 'Fag'. This way, everybody wins.
However, for those that aren't into the whole prostitution thing (since they are riddled with desease and everything), there is another solution. One that most men could never admit to themselves. Like we have said earlier, men are direct. They don't tip toe around everything until they snap like Michael Douglas in Falling Down, and beat the everloving shit out of everyone. No, if they have a problem with you, they address it straight on. Our point is if men are all direct, this means that they all understand eachother. Since they all understand eachother, this means that they can have a loving and caring relationship with one another without any problems. Yes, that's right. We're proposing that straight men date other straight men. We know that there are faults with this conclusion and many questions are left unanswered, such as 'how does the sex work in this case?' But, sometimes sacrifices need to be made for the greater good, if you know what I mean... As The Rolling Stones song goes 'You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need.'