4 Stupid Car Mods
Whether lifting your truck, lowering your car, or adding all the gadgets. For the most part car modifications are ok, unless you do something amazingly retarded and let your inner moron dictate your vehicles appearance by doing one of these...
#4 The Huge Racing Spoiler
Spoilers this friggin big are designed to go on drag racing cars, and let's face it your four cylinder Honda in no way qualifies as a drag car. Mod it up all you want, even with a couple hundred horses you don't need a spoiler this big. I'm not even going to get into the basic physics of generating downward rear thrust in a front wheel drive vehicle and how you're probably getting the opposite result that you were going for.
The only functional purpose one of these serves on a street car is as a picnic bench, or a place to sit your douche-bag ass and try to look cool. A huge spoiler like this would be awesome if it served as a stabilizing wing for when your car takes off. However, the sad truth is if your car ever takes off your probably having a real bad "Oh Shit" moment. Much like Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights, you're likely to end running from your burning car and stripping down to your underwear in an attempt to escape the invisible fire.
The even sadder truth is you won't have the big house, or hot wife either. In fact you'll be like the pizza delivery Ricky Bobby, and he'll still have a cooler BMX bike than you.
#3 Putting a Lift Kit and 20's on..... your Car
When I was younger, drug dealers used to lower their cars and throw on some Daytons. I guess in the "Bigger is Better" America the new thing is to lift your car to some ungodly height and throw some rims that're so damn big their only fit for a, well, for nothing. This look coupled with the pounding bass that I'm sure is coming from the trunk, does guarantee you'll be noticed, mostly by the cops...
I get it though, it's essentially an extension of your personality. Apparently your fashion sense is to grab someones eyeballs by their invisible nutsacks and drag them screaming from their sockets. It's basically the new version of...
And If you think this is the epitome of class you may have a future in fashion and acting, mostly in police line ups.
#2 Lowering your Pickup
Seriously, do you get the basic concept behind a PICK-UP truck? Yes that's right, to pick shit up. Exactly what the hell do you plan to pick up in something so low to the ground that every time you go over a speed bump it feels like you're getting ass raped? Congratulations, you've taken one of mans greatest inventions and turned it into a freaking clown car.
Yeah yeah, I know it looks cool but it's totally useless. I can think of a lot of cool looking crap that serves no point.
Just because it looks cool doesn't mean a grown man should do it.
#1 Putting a pair of testicles on your truck
Ok, so I have a big truck and won't fault any other man for having one either. I constantly fight against the whole "compensating for a small dick" thing. A man can just like having a big truck. But then you strap a nut sack to it and scream at the world "OBSERVE MY GIANT SURROGATE PENIS!".
In fact the whole concept is so emasculating you might as well be driving�
Honestly, putting a set of balls on your truck just announces that your penis has actually crawled back inside your body and atrophied. The only other thing that might show your insecurities more is this.
This was a god f*****g awful article.
ReplyOk, I with ya all teh way on this article, yelling "FUCK YAH!!", then you had to of the rails puttin' down gatlin guns. Duche bag.
ReplyYou sir are a dumbass and can use neither proper grammar nor spelling. Also, that gun, while it certainly seems cool to have, what the hell could you possibly do with it other than point at it and say "Hey guys, see this huge gun? Why aren't you guys looking at my pants? Ohhhh, you thought I meant that kick-ass gun because I so totally have a dick bigger than that gun," huh? Anything else you could do with that gun? City won't let you fire that thing unless you're in the f*****g arctic and the wildlife/people have been evacuated because chances are you're too stupid to know how to use a gun. Sorry for the rant, I'm bored and I figured I had to chew SOMEBODY out to meet my daily quota.
If you can't focus enough on what you're reading well enough to ignore grammatical errors, you should probably go back to 6th grade English yourself. Decent article.
ReplyIf your grammar is bad enough that it distracts the reader from the purpose of the article, then your grammar needs more attention. Perhaps you should have paid more attention in 6th grade English.
Not a bad article; read out loud, where the spelling doesn't matter, it's humorous and not poorly written at all. The spelling errors on the screen are distracting and unappealing, though.
ReplyThe only thing more stupid than these mods is the fact that the author doesn't have basic English skills.PLEASE get someone who graduated from the 6th grade to proofread your articles from now on!
Reply