Chicken Soup Books

The popular series of short-story compilations, and it's apparent quest for world domination.

Original Authors Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, hanging out in Jack's basement
Original Authors Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, hanging out in Jack's basement
I only wish that these weren't real
I only wish that these weren't real
COMING SOON
COMING SOON

Just The Facts

  1. In 2006, there were over 100 different versions of Chicken Soup books published
  2. Chicken Soup has covered many, MANY varieties of demographics
  3. The series has potential for a major conspiracy (possibly involving mass brainwashing)

The Master Plan

Chicken Soup for the Soul is a series of book that are collecions of inspirational stories or motivational essays. Each book as aimed at a different demographic as it's audience, as indicated by the books title. Some books inculde Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul, Chicken Soup for the Golfer's Soul, etc. The series was started back in 1993 by "motivational speakers" Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. I put that phrase in sarcastic quotations because I, for one, hardly believe it. I have a different theory about how these books came to be.

Canfield and Hansen have a world-domination plot, and I don't know how its supposed to work. But Step One in this diabolical scheme is making sure that every house on the planet has at least one copy of a Chicken Soup book in it. Once every house has a book, maybe they send out a beacon that makes all people reading it and their minds under the control of these two evil geniuses. This is why the Chicken Soup books are expanding to different demographics so rapidly. In 2006, there were reportedly over 100 different Chicken Soup books published. Since then, there have probably been 100 more! Soon Chicken Soup will expand to more bizarre and smaller demographics just to be sure that they can appeal to everybody. Coming Soon: Chicken Soup for the Plumber's Granddaughter, Chicken Soup for the Comatose Soul, Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Soul, Chicken Soup for the Dyslexic Soul, etc. Chicken Soup is not going to stop until it has taken over the soul of everyone on this planet.

How YOU Can Help

There have been over 100 million copies sold, printed in 54 different languages. It won't be long before every house has one of these books. So, people, help out your community. Do not purchase one of these books, assuming you value the world at least partially. It will be worth it in the end when you don't succumb to this bizarre and ridiculously inefficient but still evil mind-control plot. And I'm sure you can live without another story about how a dog saves a young boy's life in a blizzard.