Worst Vehicles To Drive Behind

Top Five Worst Vehicles to Drive behind on Turnpike.

School Bus

Garbage Truck

Fred Sanford Special

Just The Facts

  1. Its either drive like you just snorted cocain at 90 mph, or move over into the slow lane and be forced behind one of these following types.

5. School Bus

These guys usually drive in packs. If you pass one there is usually another right around the corner waiting to engage you in some sort of pseudo-I-am-still-a-man-even-though-I-drive-a-school-bus drag contest. From the back they generally spew some sort of toxic gas which has the shelf life of carbon-14. If you are lucky there will be some obnoxious group of inner city kids waiting to engage in communication with you because they are bored from not doing there homework. Because homework is for nerds.

4. Grandma/Grandpa

I am always surprised and proud to see someone going the speed limit. But then there are these geriatric druggies all hopped up on whatever new drug they figured out how to con their doctors into giving them. They generally drive anywhere from ten to 20 miles under the speed limit. If you get stuck behing one you can expect to be there for ten to twenty minutes as the cars behind you floor it and block you in. The cars passing you think to themselves, "this douchebag isn't dumb enough to pull out while im flooring it around him, ergo I will be two car lengths ahead, and besides when do i ever get to gun it past some dillweed, i mean, usually im the guy getting harrassed and passed." Typically the grandmas are a silent but deadly type of phenom. You never notice them until you are stuck behind them going nowehere.

3. Mario Andretti

These guys are guys you don't want behind you. These guys coupled with the other four on the list make my life a living hell on my daily commute. The mario andrettis are unable to visualize the gas petal in terms of continuous increments. They merely floor it and if you get in their way they tail gate the living shit out of you until you get out of their way. You are only left to assume they are on their way to some big important meeting where they make important decisions regarding the future of small brained people such as yourself.

2. Grabage Truck

They smell and stuff often flies out the back of them. Rotten type junk.

1. The Fred Sanford Special

I'm sure you know some unemployed guy down the street who suddenly decides to do his own start up lawn cutting business. From what I have assertained it involves piling anything that could be a potential lethal projectile into the back of a pick up truck and going out on the freeway and driving. The lure of being an independent contractor is too much for must boarderline alcoholics to resist. So everyday I have to deal with at least five of these idiots. The ones that bother me the most are the ones who realize they can do more jobs if the flagrantly abuse the speed limit. They usually have a partner with them who has his feet propped up on the dash acting as though they have truly beat the system. I guess they have truly beat the system just as long as they completely deny the existence of dorks like me who drive behind them and get sprayed with pebbles of concrete or whatever kind of crap they decide to haul. I assume the typical conversation goes like this, " Hey Jim, dont worry about tying down that gas can, just wedge it between the sharpened spikes and and pick axes." They are firm believers in the law of inertia.