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Videogame Controls

Videogames are based on street fighting, jetski racing and secret agency all being controlled by the same buttons. They all control thusly (with slight deviations):

UPLOADED

Just The Facts

  1. Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
  2. Microsoft and Sony mocked Nintendo for using motion controls. After approximately infinity-billion Wii sales, they built motion controls.
  3. Quicktime events give the latest in gaming all the thrilling interactivity of a DVD player.

Evolution of controllers

Controllers have been evolving since the first Pong paddles, asking questions such as "How can we simulate the true impact of violence and death?" (make it shake a bit), "How can we make more money?" (only ship one damn controller with the console) and "How can you effectively control a first-person-shooter without a mouse?" (you can't).

Nintendo daringly released a new kind of controller, and even more daringly released it before it worked properly, and outright-fuck-you-daringly offered to sell the missing parts years later for more money. Microsoft, meanwhile eventually mastered making controllers smaller than a tank, while Sony - well, we tried to find a PS3 owner to ask but couldn't.

Videogame Controls Articles

The 6 Most Pointless Gaming Controllers   Submitted by: LukeMcKinney   |   Aug 2, 2009 | Source: Gamespy
Some are even worse than the above. Final Fantasy controller, anyone?
A Gamer's Manifesto   Submitted by: LukeMcKinney   |   Aug 2, 2009 | Source: Cracked
We want this, not EA Sports Game 20XX
The 6 Most Retarded Gaming Consoles Ever Released   Submitted by: LukeMcKinney   |   Aug 2, 2009 | Source: Cracked
Because they think you're stupid.
5 Things The Gaming Industry Will Never Fix (And Why)   Submitted by: LukeMcKinney   |   Aug 2, 2009 | Source: Cracked
You keep paying for it and they'll keep doing it.


Cracked Talk on | Videogame Controls

5 of 161 Comments

stop whining about the article saying no1 has the ps3. the author just meant ps3 was a total failure. That is a fact: when it comes to sales (sadly) wii pwned ps3, they are actually losing money (guess that's what you get when you make no improvements at all other than graphics and some useless features in a lame attempt to copy PC features). besides Pc is way better than any console u got the mouse which is the only decent way to play FPS and if u like sports game u can always buy a gamepad, which are cheaper than console controls.

2 Replies | Hide Replies | Reply | Posted on 10/18/2009 12:50 PM
Human_gs

OFCOURSE THEY LOSE MONEY RETARD!
they make money selling the game, not the consoles.
(except for wii)

Posted on 11/12/2009 12:08 PM
wootsniper

Wii games sell worse than the console itself so whats that mean. that the shity little exercise program is better than all the games you need more than one person around to play.

Posted on 11/19/2009 11:05 AM
Son0fgrim

this article is win.
"that's a nice moth 2 miles away"
priceless.
"we couldn't find one"
ask me, bastard. LOL
(that went well with the other two)

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 10/17/2009 12:55 PM
NOBLE

Sony has conceived the best gamepad design possible back in 1994. Since then they're the only console maker to follow the "if it's not broken, don't fix it" principle, so I'd say they win really damn hard.

0 Replies | Reply | Posted on 9/26/2009 3:12 PM
MaxChaplin

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