Blind Dates

For a long time now, farther back than I can remember, blind dates have scared me. It's like a grab bag with people inside. Sounds horrific, yea? Yea. I figure the best way to defeat your fear is to face it. So, I went on a blind date myself.

Blind.

Dating.

Blind Dating.

Just The Facts

  1. Blind Dating is Terrifying
  2. Blind Dating Can be a Useful Testing Ground for Dates With People You Like
  3. Blind Dating Can Lead to Your First Homosexual Experience

Here's the Deal:

People find love through a number of methods: online dating, blind dating, bar hopping, duct tape. There are a myriad of ways to meet someone special. Today, though, I'd like to shed my knowledge light on blind dating.

Blind dating scared the living daylights out of me, mainly because I thought you had to be blind to do it. I like to see things. I still haven't seen the new Harry Potter, and I really need to do that before I go blind. After a brief discussion with some loved ones, however, I was informed that my assumption about blind dating was wildly off-base.

I wanted to experience blind dating first hand so I could better educate others who are equally as confused as I was. I asked my friends if they could set me up. One of my old room mates knew a girl that he thought would be perfect for me.

**Flash back starts**

"Dude, this girl is perfect for you!" He said.

"Oh yea? What's she like?" I asked.

"It's my sister, Cassie."

"She hot?"

"It's my sister."

"Your hot sister?"

"Just my sister."

"She sounds ugly."

**Flash back ends**

He never called his sister, so I had to set up my own blind date. This would seem quite difficult--nearly impossible. How could I set myself up with a girl that I had never met nor seen? Easy. I went to the Parks Mall in Arlington this past weekend, assuming that the weekend would draw the highest number of attractive women. I brought my best friend, Wesley, along to help me. I don't want to see the woman beforehand, and I don't want to walk around with a blind fold, my friend and I decided that the best way to do this would be me pretending to be blind. I would dress up as a real-life blind man, complete with a cane, a sunglasses, and a surly disposition that borders on violent. My friend would be my seeing eye dog. He would maintain this illusion by wearing a believable dog costume. This is what he showed up in:

I didn't get to see the costume until we'd met in the parking lot.
I didn't get to see the costume until we met in the parking lot.

Wesley would guide me to a girl he thought was attractive and I would ask her out, no questions asked, all the while keeping my eyes closed. I would keep the conversation to a minimum, mainly just a little small talk and an exchange of contact information, in order to maintain enough anonymity as possible before the date. I put all of my trust in Wesley to find me an attractive young lady to take out. This is how my trust was rewarded:

2_Full

Wesley led me to this man.

His name is Henry and he works part time at the Bass Pro Shop in Garland, TX. I'm not going to tell you what our date was like because that's what Wesley would want me to do and I don't reward betrayal.

Just know that I'm not ever going out on a blind date ever again.

Ever.