Evolution

evolution is animals that become better overtime

prove it with religeon... oh wait you can't
prove it with religeon... oh wait you can't

Just The Facts

  1. once there was a single cell now there is a metric fucktonne of animals in the world
  2. some are lame and some are fucking awsome
  3. fuck you creationists,go get a job
  4. evolution is minute changes over a long time in a species (well we should learn somthing)

In the beginning

in the beginning there was life i don't know how that's not why i'm here it probably came around cause father time and mother earth had a drunken night a couple billion years and unfortunately ended with a child. How else did they become parents ay, see you're thinking now.

any hoo first there was a cell and he got bored so split and split again and split again. this occured until there were enough of them to have a sweet party, after the party their population like exploded cause the morning after pill wasn't invented.

it's a cell what do you want

okay you get the booze ill make some chicks

so now there are a overload of cells so they all join in a big group orgy to create somesort of jellyfish or somthing shit like that

animals

now we move into the age of animals unfortunately we have to start with fish but don't worry, due to huge amounts of genetic fuck ups, fish eventually grew legs and crawled on land. before the questions of did they have lungs or gills they had neither tey were arthropods and breathed through their skin like crabs lobster and some spiders.

so finally we get animals on land now then most kept a similar trajectory with cold blooded, lays eggs shit like that which all bitches do. at some point some child was seriously fucked up enough that his blood was warm and he was covered in hair. (i am at the moment finding it difficult to think of a funny object that has warm blood and is covered in hair, there should be one just erect in my mind but i can't seem to find one. i think a good poke should eject some funny idea goo in my brain. oh well lets just go with...) LIKE YO MOMMA

so that little furry batard is our ancestor but onto that later. ther cold blooded bastards seemed to figure that those who ate meat were badasses so shit just got fucking nuts with guys mutating with freaky toe knives which cottoned on and some crazy head plates and spike tails. all of these good ideas allowing for the survival of those mother fuckers. but the mother fucking t-rex what the fuck is with your tiny arms, how do they help you at all, that is fucking stupid that you should be embarrased fucking stupid arms

what the fuck do you do if you want to scratch your nose... you're fucked aren't you

humans, cause screw everything else

well humans have pretty much a fuck with evolution. humans move to a new area and instead of tha may the strong survive type attitude and adapting to fit our enviroment we fuck the enviroment up and keep as many worthless assholes alive as we can. thereby we basically give charles darwin a bitchslap to the fucking balls.

but in this world we still have crazy human evolving stuff going people with super strong bones, people who don't feel pain,some blind guy who hears colors, a child with super muscles, people who can take 20 shots of tequila, drink an entire schooner of vodka and drink medicinal alcohol because they fucking insane and not even get tipsy.

basically if we learn how to harvest these peoples power then we could have the most amazing superheroes ever such as captain frat house, superdude, jack daniels the hero

awsome

admit it this would be awsome on the front of spandex

the future

who the fuck knows

Seriously fucking anything