Lady Gaga

The latest artist to the electro-pop-rock-classic rock-rave genre, while keeping a glam rock-punk-dance-europop edge.

Lady Gaga, in her casual cocktail dress.

Just The Facts

  1. Lady Gaga doesn't choose her outfits, her outfits choose her.
  2. She was mistaken for a prostitute by the Russian police [insert In Soviet Russia joke].
  3. Despite constant attempts at looking like a drag queen, she looks like a walking Dali painting

Cracked on Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga was once a song writer for Akon. She went on to open for such great "talents" as the Pussycat Dolls and the New Kids On the Block, before going solo to a slightly less terrible existance, signing onto Akon's label and begin recording her own music. She has released 2 albums to great success, although not as much success as they did on making our ears bleed.

Notable achievements: a Platinum record, a VMA, and the first song with lyrics to have nothing to do with either the meaning or music video of the song.

Lady Gaga on SNL, showing off her modern artwork hulla hooping skills 8th grade solar system project

Lady Gaga ...Has...Talent?

Due to the genre that her music is in, many consumer are skeptical of her ability to sing, with such critiques as "Lady GAGA is on her way to hell, Sad fact. She is showing the light of Lucifer (Satan) through her song & dance. Why do so many fall for Satan's tricks", and "SHE FUKN UGLIIIIIIIIIII".

However, it came into light that she attended (and promptly dropped out of) NYU's fine arts school. She taught herself piano at 4, wrote her first song by 13, and was playing in bars and nightclubs by 15. While that seems illegal, she had breasts, so no one cared.

After watching this, you have to agree that she can sing. And that she's batshit insane.

Lady Gaga Will Poke Your Face With Her "Verticle Stick"

In 2009, the Internet was all aflutter with rumors that Lady Gaga had a "disco stick" of her own. The evidence was a video from a video of her at a music festival: (NSFW....Probably?)

He/she was reported to agree with that on it's blog:

"It's not something that I'm ashamed of, just isn't something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female. It's just a little bit of a penis and really doesn't interfere much with my life. The reason I haven't talked about it is that it's not a big deal to me. Like come on. It's not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I'm sexy, I'm hot. I have both a poon and a peener. Big fucking deal- L8d Gaga."

Recent polls estimate that 1 out of every 3 writers at Cracked puked in their mouths a little bit when they read that.

However, it's pretty clear this post was fake. First of all, anyone who even thought about typing the words "poon" and/or "peener" to refer to junk would have recieved jail time for grossing people out, let alone typing them in the same sentance. And, she soon refuted these allegations by going on a talk show. And by going on a talk show, I mean appearing naked in a magazine. The magazine she did the shoot with was Just Out, the main gay magazine. Which is really convoloted, when you think about it, baring all for just the one group of people who couldn't care less.

The flipside to this argument is "What the hell is swinging between your legs in that other video, then?"