Lady Gaga
The latest artist to the electro-pop-rock-classic rock-rave genre, while keeping a glam rock-punk-dance-europop edge.
Just The Facts
- Lady Gaga doesn't choose her outfits, her outfits choose her.
- She was mistaken for a prostitute by the Russian police [insert In Soviet Russia joke].
- Despite constant attempts at looking like a drag queen, she looks like a walking Dali painting
Cracked on Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga was once a song writer for Akon. She went on to open for such great "talents" as the Pussycat Dolls and the New Kids On the Block, before going solo to a slightly less terrible existance, signing onto Akon's label and begin recording her own music. She has released 2 albums to great success, although not as much success as they did on making our ears bleed.
Notable achievements: a Platinum record, a VMA, and the first song with lyrics to have nothing to do with either the meaning or music video of the song.
Lady Gaga on SNL, showing off her modern artwork hulla hooping skills 8th grade solar system project
Lady Gaga ...Has...Talent?
Due to the genre that her music is in, many consumer are skeptical of her ability to sing, with such critiques as "Lady GAGA is on her way to hell, Sad fact. She is showing the light of Lucifer (Satan) through her song & dance. Why do so many fall for Satan's tricks", and "SHE FUKN UGLIIIIIIIIIII".
However, it came into light that she attended (and promptly dropped out of) NYU's fine arts school. She taught herself piano at 4, wrote her first song by 13, and was playing in bars and nightclubs by 15. While that seems illegal, she had breasts, so no one cared.
After watching this, you have to agree that she can sing. And that she's batshit insane.
Lady Gaga Will Poke Your Face With Her "Verticle Stick"
In 2009, the Internet was all aflutter with rumors that Lady Gaga had a "disco stick" of her own. The evidence was a video from a video of her at a music festival: (NSFW....Probably?)
He/she was reported to agree with that on it's blog:
"It's not something that I'm ashamed of, just isn't something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female. It's just a little bit of a penis and really doesn't interfere much with my life. The reason I haven't talked about it is that it's not a big deal to me. Like come on. It's not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I'm sexy, I'm hot. I have both a poon and a peener. Big fucking deal- L8d Gaga."
Recent polls estimate that 1 out of every 3 writers at Cracked puked in their mouths a little bit when they read that.
However, it's pretty clear this post was fake. First of all, anyone who even thought about typing the words "poon" and/or "peener" to refer to junk would have recieved jail time for grossing people out, let alone typing them in the same sentance. And, she soon refuted these allegations by going on a talk show. And by going on a talk show, I mean appearing naked in a magazine. The magazine she did the shoot with was Just Out, the main gay magazine. Which is really convoloted, when you think about it, baring all for just the one group of people who couldn't care less.
The flipside to this argument is "What the hell is swinging between your legs in that other video, then?"
I dont know what everyone has against Lady Gaga, I think she is very talented and her songs while sometimes not making sense are very catchy.
ReplyI don't think she's THAT bad. I think she's fairly talented and I can give her credit for it. Now I used to hate her just as much as the next person until I saw her perform pokerface(above vid) I think she has alot of talent its just the way that presents it thats unappreciated by most people.
ReplyI don't know, I think saying that she's talented is like saying kesha is talented, which she is definetly not. And Hello, Shinigami!! I am Light!! :D
Interesting. Lets compare.
Kesha: Filthy, no talent, gross, ugly, bad singer, needs autotune.
Lady gaga: Kind of ugly, weird, good singer, plays piano, basically uses autotune just because she can.
Your analogy sucked, is what I'm saying
Can she sing? Yes. Does she have talent? Probably. But that doesn't matter because she looks like the bastard offspring of Bjork and Madonna.
ReplyWait a minute? So, being able to sing and having musical talent still isn't enough to make you a musician, because it can be trumped by your physical appearance? Well, I guess you just about summed up the music business as it exists in this century.
She looks like a man.
ReplyStunning observation.
I think she just keeps repeating and agreeing to anything we think about her... like some people says shes got a penis then next thing you know she says yes I have a penis... some people say she puts anti-Christ stuff in her songs then next music video that comes out is full of anti-Christ symbols... she stays popular by mirroring whatever we think she actually means. which means that she is not trying to say anything and she is being weird just for the sake of being weird.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replies1st. When the whole penis thing came she said: first that "I have a penis and it's bigger than yours." as a joke, then on a serious interview she said "i don't have a penis, that's a lie and my vagina feels very offended." and then on the telephone video she shows her vagina (off course it shows censored) and in the background you can hear "I knew she didn't have a dick." "Too bad."
Then on the anti-Christ thing, she says she isn't one and that she didn't meant to offend christian people, all thought she did.
She's not being weird for the sake of being weird, you beyond stupid, you talk about things you don't even know about.
I don't think I should keep insulting you, you're pathetic on your own :)
yeah she's maybe the worst person on earth i totally agree, along with the kesha thing, each 2-3 years we have a new crazy fool worse then the other one :|
Truthfully, this costumed-freak shock value approach to pop music is very trendy right now. They all have to keep one-upping each other to make money.
At one point, it was enough to just be a musician and you could go on stage in a somewhat fancier rendition of dressed up and perform as a human being. Now you need to AT LEAST wear an eccentric wig and a fashionable but uncomfortable outfit made out of something petroleum-based. And, even if you CAN sing...the autotuned sound has become so standard in the recording industry that you pretty much have to use it. Your real voice won't be impressive enough, even if it is good, because there might be slight imperfections that we are now all able to notice because we've been listening to so much autotuned singing.
she is the very embodiment of bad acid
ReplyI think she's trying too hard to be different.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesAnd the thing is, it's only her look that make her stand out. Her music is the same s****y generic pop music that Brittney Spears and and Gwen Stefani have been doing for the past decade. Nothing original or new. "Ooh, but the outfits! She sure is bold and unique!" f*****g hell...
@The_CoolerKing. I gotta say, her music is not as bad as people say. She is wierd looking (fact) but she makes good music. I want someone else to make music that doesn't sound like something we already have. Wait, you can't? Then stfu.
@GigaWatt: I agree, there's not much originality left in the pop genre, or any really. But, when you have to rely on dressing up like a combination of a bad acid trip and several people's nightmares to get attention at all, maybe you should reconsider your career.
@GigaWatt, I support that.
@Caliatom... that's just dumb. She isn't jut relying on her clothes. She is just being different, and I hate that people like you have to insult her for that. I hate it, because when you insult her, you insult me. Because when I was having a bad, no, TERRIBLE time her music (not only her singles) was there for me.
She made me feel better with her music, made me feel like it's ok to be different. I admire her.
So before you insult 1 person, realize how many others you're insulting.
@RunSushiRun: Just because you had some sort of bad time in your life and you considered a few of her songs "there for you", doesn't mean that nobody is allowed to insult someone who doesn't even know you exist.
@GigaWatt: Lady Gaga's music does sound like stuff we already had and regardless, people don't need to have written songs better to criticize her. Does everyone who thought Transformers 2 was bad have to have made a good movie?
She doesn't have a dick this is the same lady who just told the world she cut off her own leg "to be different" and everyone believed it for a couple weeks... She put something there and did that on purpose
ReplyAs for her talent what makes her different from every other pop star... Umm she can actually freaking sing without hundreds of man hours with computers to help her. She actually writes her own music and lyrics... Yes what other pop star does that...
I am not a huge fan on the basis that I only like pop in certain settings (meaning very very rarely) but I give her credit for being an actual artist instead of front girl.
Gay guy.
I can't understand why she's so popular. Her music is okay and she's kinda pretty. But I don't see how she's anything different of special.... other than her having a dick.
Reply"Verticle Stick" If that's a Bad Romance reference, she's actually saying Vertigo schtick. Also, she was accepted to Julliard but did not end up attending.
ReplyLady Gaga is an amazing performer, she's definitely the biggest face in the music scene right now, and she completely dominated 2009 with singles.
ReplyI agree. It's a wonder she only fell on her ass twice during one of her live performances while dancing around like yet another Brittainy Spears/Christina Aguilera abortion(no, but she's supposedly not of that ilk because she dresses like a period-stain to the VMAS).
Her outfits aren't "outrageous", they're just dumb.
Reply