Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing introduced a generation of girls and gays to the magic of dance, summer love, and back-alley abortions. It's the story of a young, naïve girl and her blossoming (fucking) with a sexy (statutory rapist) dance instructor in the 60’s.

Just The Facts

  1. Set at a Catskills resort for rich Jews in 1963. You can tell it's the 60's because of the hair and you can tell they're Jews from Jennifer Grey's nose.
  2. Caused an entire nation to go Swayze Crazy (TM)
  3. Nobody puts baby in a corner.

The Story

Frances "Baby" Houseman (age 17) is spending her last summer before Mount Holyoke and the Peace Corps being bored and spoiled and watching her sister slut it up all over Kellerman's Catskill resort. That is until she agrees to carry a watermelon down to a room full of sweaty waiters, caddies, and chambermaids dry-humping each other to "black music" and meets Johnny Castle who then proceeds to make Baby feel uncomfortable with his gyrations and filthy Irish charm. Johnny is, understandably, the most interesting person at the resort because his shirts don't button past his navel and because he continuously insults Baby and calls her on her whiny rich girl bullshit.

"God, shut up!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

Now THE PLOT kicks in and Johnny's much-hotter-than-Baby dance partner, Penny is discovered to be preggo with Baby's slutty sister's boyfriend's baby. Baby wants to help Penny in any way she can but especially in the baby killing and job stealing kinda way so she gets her father the doctor to pay for Penny's illegal back-alley 1963 abortion and starts taking dancing lessons from Johnny to help him win the big dance or something.

So Baby and Johnny start training and using the power of MONTAGE. At first they fight --being from different sides of the stereotype and all - then they dance on tree trunks (Johnny himself having learned dancing from Yoda) and in lakes (despite the fact that the girl's natural buoyancy is negated once he lifts her out of the water but whatev) and finally they begin to fall in love. This is all part of Johnny's summer plan.

Step I. Teach Dance.

Step II. Try not to wear a shirt.

Step III. Pork underage girl.

The summer moves on and they win the big dance or whatever and spend all day fucking until they find out that this shady abortion deal didn't go down so well. (Gasp!) Baby has to come clean and ask her father the doctor to save the much hotter girl's life. The whole torrid affair comes to light. Johnny gets fired for diddling the guests and Baby is no longer her daddy's little princess.

Because of stuff like this.

On the last night of the summer Johnny busts back into the resort for the last party and is for some reason enraged at Baby's placement at the table and screams "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!" and they dance a highly choreographed dance with the entire staff which includes the mythical lift that Baby wussed out on over and over. We're to understand they had the time of their lives. Even mom and dad get some dirty dancing done. And they lived happily ever after, or at least for another night before Baby starts college and Johnny goes back to being unemployed.

THE END?

Yes. Havana Nights does not count.

Interesting Facts

Dirty Dancing won an Oscar for Best Original Song "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" though Patrick Swayze's own "She's Like the Wind" is clearly the better and much more shirtless song.

Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey pretty much hated each other since the filming of Red Dawn which explains the DVD outtakes of botched dance moves are followed by shouts of "Wolverine!"

Jennifer Grey never had another hit like Dirty Dancing due in part to her nose job that completely changed her face. Sure, it ruined her career and makes it hard for her to breathe but come on, rowr!

Still, not bad.

Patrick Swayze was not the first choice to play Johnny, the filmmakers wanted Billy Zane or Val Kilmer.

Nobody puts Baby in a corner!

Yup, this is Val Kilmer