Nicolas Cage
Just The Facts
- Nicolas Cage is an Oscar winning Hollywood movie star who abruptly quit acting at the height of his abilities.
- He has starred in dozens of films since that time.
- Cage is one of the youngest actors ever to enter the "Seriously, I Don't Give a Shit" stage of his career. And while actors like Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro have perfected the art of phoning-in a performance, nobody has quite matched Cage's ability to make us wonder if he's fucking with us.
- Post giving a shit, Cage films are plotted in much the way burritos are ordered at Chipotle. By choosing different combinations from a small, fixed menu, Cage has been able to release an endless variety of barely different films.
THE CRACKED TAKE:
While Mr. Cage's hair is always atrocious, he has been known to switch ridiculous hair styles from one film to the next. This is done so that audiences can tell his movies apart. For instance: Bizarre lack of sideburns=National Treasure, Long hair combined with absurdly big forhead =Next
However, sometimes Cage fails to make his hair uniquely weird enough from one film to the next, as in these two screen grabs taken from two seperate movies:
Or these three:
You know, even if he seemed to play the same character over and over in his early films, with the same mannerisms and way of speaking, I really enjoyed them (Con Air, The Rock, Face/Off, Gone in 60 seconds). And then all of a sudden he was in all these movies with posters that made me go: "What is he doing? What was he thinking?? What's with the HAIR?!?" And now I'm just sad. :(
ReplySad, but true. Excuse me while I go watch Raising Arizona and cry about what could have been....*sigh*
ReplyIn my opinion, he went downhill after the first "National Treasure". Which, don't get me wrong, I liked that movie but after that he fell into the whole Keanu Reeves and Christian Bale "act the same way in the rest of my movies" routine.
ReplyWatch "The Rock" again, now that it's not the 90s. See if it's still as great as you remember.
Ture, but I still like him. I feel bad for his bad movies, and his hair.
ReplyNick Cage is so terrible he's good. This article was pure win.
Reply"Three. Different. Movies" hahaha.
There have been some truly good plot lines that were ruined because of his acting....which is quite a shame.
ReplyOk person that gets paid to write for a living. It's spelled "forehead" and "separate"....not "forhead" and "seperate". Hell, that was just 2 lines and I caught that.Do you proofread your work?
Replyb***h about nothing, much?
I thought he was really good in bill and ted's excellent adventure and the first matrix, but other than that, he is shitty.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesNo you're thinking of that kid from Donnie Darko.
No, you're thinking of f*****g Keanu Reeves!
no, you're thinking of derek zoolander
Nic Cage is an amazing actor that acts terrible on purpose for his own amusement.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYeah, you just keep saying that. Maybe one day you'll believe it.
That is what I keep telling my boss about my performance as an employee at Arbee's.
He doesn't act terrible on purpose. He acts that way because that's what he thinks is the best of the role. He's very theatrical, and is really dedicated for each role.
Actors like Pacino, De Niro and Cage probably spent years trying to hone their skills and act the s**t out of every scene. Then one day, they showed up on set and delivered, what they themselves considered to be, a sub-par performance. They waited for someone to say something, but -- nothing. See, nobody hired them for their acting skills. A name and a certain screen presence, sure, but not the actual acting. Suddenly, it struck them: "My God! I'm being typecast as myself!"
ReplyNow they were left with two choices: keep working hard, insisting on take after take, in spite of nobody else giving a damn -- or -- take the cash, have fun and go home to their families. They chose the later, and I can't say that I blame them.
They still suck, though :)
What makes things worse is that Nicholas Cage recently filed for bankruptcy. What the hell did he waste all his extra cash on???
i still like mr. cage
Reply"seperate"? Though I'm French, I think there is a spelling mistake in here.
Replyyes i know this when using the /separate command
Well, he is over 100 years old, give the guy some slack.
ReplyHe calls his acting style "nouveau shamanism." Need I say any more?
ReplyHe was great in Raising Arizona. It's all been downhill from there. Well, except for seeing him getting bees poured onto his head, that rocked.
ReplyI personally think this article kinda sucked.
ReplyI'm glad that's only your personal opinion. If it was your professional opinion, I would have been astounded!
Beeeeeessssss!
ReplyWho the fuk is Nicholas cage? Those pics look like Nicholas Copola
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replieshurr i'm so kewl i know nick's real name
No, it's Luke Cage...
Luke Cage aka Power Man got a skin transplant and obviously quit roids. Fast Times rules!!!!!!!!!
Consequences be damned for saying this, but I love Nicolas Cage. Yes, he's partnered up with CGI and little plot in (a lot of) recent movies, but you have to remember this: He's not an action hero. (I should say that Nicolas Cage should remember that, but what does he care? He's making millions on s**t movies.) Next time you're tempted to see a shit-fest like Next, Knowing, Bangkok Dangerous, or (half of) Ghost Rider, just remember that the man nailed it in movies where he WAS NOT AN ACTION HERO.
ReplyTL;DR
Give Nicolas Cage a chance most of the time.
They aren't really attacking him, they're attacking his most recent movies.
It's to the point now where, when seeing a theatrical trailer for The Sorcerer's Apprentice for the first time, my sister was like "Wow, this looks really good!" At least, for the first 30 seconds or so, until Cage's face appeared. Then she said, "...Really? Dammit, this movie looked good, too."
ReplyI was so confused for a second. I though you were talking about the Vampire's Assistant. I was thinking to myself "there is no way anyone could mistake that movie for looking good."