Kitten

AWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doesn't it just want you to combust in candy andd pretty colors?
Doesn't it just want you to combust in candy andd pretty colors?

Just The Facts

  1. Kitten is actualy a chronic disease.
  2. Theoreticly, the kitten's hearing should be drasticly diminishining, due to constant assaults of "OMG SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!"

Kitten, the disease

Kitten is a mental disorder starting as a child, when they see an adorable bundle of fur on a notebook/t.v./whatever. 99.99% of little girls are affected. Symptoms are: Sqealing at glass-shattering levels at the sight of a kitten, kitten toys and school suplies, pretty kitten pictures in the room. The list goes on. The disorder is spread at play dates and school.

In middle-high school age, the symtoms settle down. But when the victim reaches middle age, they fire up again. When patients are this age, the disorder is known as "Crazy Cat lady' disorder. The patient binges on cat/kitten things agian, only this time the items are lame, such as "cats are like potato chips-can't have just one" signs.

Males are at risk too, but in tis version kittens are used as cannon balls.

kitten, the animal

the cause of the disease.

Kitten chemistry is as follows: 100% cute.

Phsical aspects:

Ears: Releases a toxin that causes an attraction to little triangles.

Paws: Kneads into your groin and makes you feel special.

Eyes:Creey as adults, but adorable as kittens.

Tail: Fluffy and- you gussed it- cute.

I could continue this as "cute cute cute cute" and it will hav the sam impact.

The meow-

So tiny, high-picthced,helpless. It makes you feel like you're actualy worth something, as you dash to the rescue. when something is in it's mouth kittens are known as: NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

When these vessels of cute grow up, they tend to be screwed. Losing the "AWWWWW" factor, they ultimitly forgotton, or used in cat-apults.