Recession
A boom is when everyone pretends that everyone else has money. A recession is when some inconsiderate bastard tries to collect.
Just The Facts
- The recent recession triggered by the impossibility of buying a million dollar home on a fifty-thousand salary, apparently surprising everyone involved.
- Worked hard, saved, and spent within your means? Tough!
- This would be an excellent time to learn Chinese, stockpile petrol, or befriend a feral child.
The Sequence of Collapse
Failing companies used credit to delay collapsing.
Credit companies faked solvency with investment before collapsing.
The investment firms got money from the government before collapsing.
The government, well, we've redefined the Mad Max series as educational films. We now owe both the Chinese and the future several trillion dollars, and if we've learned anything from the movies it's that both could kick our asses - and want to.
This can be entirely traced to plastic crap like Billy The Singing Sea-Bass: we spent all our money on them, China had to make them, and the future keeps digging the unkillably unbiodegradable things up, and now they all want us gone.
Surviving A Recession
During a recession staple goods survive while luxuries are sacrificed. As a food provider or medicine provider you would be fine; as internet comedy writers we'll be banging on the barbed wire fence begging to be let in.
Just the golden age on its way out....which i totes missed btw...well just another day in paradise.
ReplyI will murder the recession if it even thinks of messing with me
ReplyExcellent article, well done.
Replywhy won't it just burn down already? I want my Mad Max future.
ReplyI call dibs on the Thunderdome
Ironically the Bank Bailout will be the only part of the economic stimulus/bailouts to actually make money in the long term... but don't worry, we've given all that profit to be to the car industry to fart away.
Replyfunny...but you're missing key players in the current recession such as the fed, goldnut sachs, the credit crunch and the bailout.
ReplyFirst person to tell me the deadline for the US to pay off the national debt gets a sticker. And a really cool sticker, too. Probably with a unicorn or dragon or something.
Reply2012, haven't you seen the commercials about what will happen then?
there isnt a deadline, we owe money via bonds, which dont mature all at the same time.
How are you citizens?
ReplyAll your states are belong to China.
You are one the wave to recession.
(What you say?)
You have no chance to pay your deficit. Hahaha.
For great justice, stop taking loans.
HAHAHA!!!....oh shit...youre serious
Hello everyone,
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sry, not enough money for a woman
Hey RedvagofCourage, have you looked at how much money Obama has spent on the 1st stimulus plan that he claimed would work? Now he wants a 2nd stimulus! Look at the so called universal health care plan that he wants for us. And are you not aware that he has more debt than every single past President combined! He HAS spent more money than Bush has. But if you are a Democrat or a Liberal then you won't see it.
ReplyOr if you're not a complete f*****g moron. That will prevent you from seeing it, too. So Democrats, liberals (no capital, dago deity, there's no American Liberal Party), and non-mental defectives are SOL. At least as far as not seeing s**t she makes up in spite of all facts to the contrary. So.
The lesson is, don't use imaginary money. Oh wait then we can't have as much profit and we won't be able to raise ourselves by lowering others. Goddammit there aren't any perfect solutions unless you stop being greedy and selfish.
ReplyHello everyone,
ReplyI found a great dating site______MillionaireCupid.org_____
The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs..
what's the most important is:you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one.
I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy .You should check it out!!!
Why do shitheads like you always spam this forum with useless junk? You're nothing but a sad loner who will end up being assfucked in jail by your new boyfriend...
Rawsteel, don't say that... It will mostly be rape.
"A boom is when everyone pretends that everyone else has money. A recession is when some inconsiderate bastard tries to collect."
ReplyThis reminds me that one of John Maynard Keynes: "If I own a pound to the bank, I have a problem, If I own it a millon pounds, the bank has a problem"
and how does the recession affect artists? not as much as you'd think... we were financially screwed to begin with.
ReplyJeffK, you need to shut the f**k up you asshole!! Like I told punjabeast, Democrats and Liberals like to waste money and spend spend spend! Obama has currently more debt than EVERY f*****g past President combined!! So suck it you asshole!!!!!!!!!
Replywhoa, what? i think you need to cite some sources before you go throwing some s**t around like that. We were already trillions in debt due to the Iraq war, and I don't think Obamas been throwing cash at the military like the preceding presidency, so this claim seems very full of bullshit.
Obama may not be the most effective president we've seen, but he certaintly hasn't spent as much as Bush did in 8 years in only 1.
Too short! A clever chart or diagram does not an article make...
ReplyOk then, there seems to be a different reason for the recession per poster. So many to choose from... which one could be correct..... hmmm... I choose to blame it on a topless Megan Fox website.
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I can't seem to find the idiots who caused the recession in this article anywhere. The Fed and Alan Greenspan are absent. The recession is really simple to understand; interest rates were bottomed out, so credit was as cheap as it's even been in this country, so everyone got into the situation of either borrowing to expand or being sqeezed out of the market (there really was no third option for most people; if you didn't take advantage of the credit somehow, the inflation would wipe out your accounts), and so expansion ensued for awhile until reality set in. The prices are skyrocketing while the rest of the world stops wanting dollars, and we realize that, oops, printing more money doesn't actually mean there is more to BUY with that money. We just doubled the prices. Now, everything's falling back into place, but yes, there is a painful readjustment as we go through credit withdrawal. Who caused this? The Fed. No private companies or investors have the power to making hundreds of billions of dollars of wealth just disappear.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliestl;dr
Amen, Duca. Amen.