How To Survive A Horror Movie

We've all seen them, and we all wonder how the hell someone could be so stupid in horror movies. Here are a few tips on how to live if you ever find yourself in a horror movie situation.

beware of the stare of mary shaw she had no children only dolls and if you see her in your dreams make sure you never ever scream

chainsaw anyone?

1,2 freddy's coming for you.

Just The Facts

  1. Common sence, Learn it, Use it, Love it

Places to avoid

Any small town or the middle of nowhere.

A small town gas station

Eerie barns

Old houses with histories

Places like this need to be avoided when you want to live and stay out of horror situatuons.

Southern backwoods

old hospitials

basements

run downs areas

any place with one hanging light bulb.

naturally creepy places

cemetaries

Rules to follow

1) No sex, any sex and you will die, Its like having a neon sign above your head screaming "KILL ME"

2) no drugs or alcohol. Thats just bad, becauseyou will be walking around in a drunken or high stupor, shouting and alerting the killer as to where you are.

3) Dont think you can outsmart the killer, you cant and you will fail.

4) If you think that the killer is dead you had better make damn sure, take a shotgun to his head, or behead him or her, They train months to slow down their hearts and nearly stop their breathing to make them look dead.

5) If you become stuck and find a house, and they say dont go into the basement, get the hell out of dodge, cause some occult shit is going down

6) you cell phone will not work, most phones wont. either A) you wont have service B) the cords are snipped or the power is out. C) They dont have phones.

7) If you are in a house and get mysterious call, get the hell out. Don't spend your time running around like an idiot locking doors, cause more often than not the killer is already inside and laughing at your dumb ass.

8) that also being said, if you are confronted by your killer inside, dont run up the damn stairs. Unless you have magical flying powers you wont get out and will be killed.

9) If you run into the woods you can kiss your ass goodbye. The killer knows them better than you.

10) No barns, just avoid them, they basically are just traps the killer will use to kill you.

11) Do not go anywhere near creepy or strange sounds, more often than not its a distraction. The killer is behind you and ready to kill.

12) In horror movies its every man for him/her self. Dont group up, you're on your own.

13) Expect the unexpected.

14) Dont say I'll be back. Its a dead mans phrase.

15) No attics, no basements, no garages, or any dark damp place.

16) If you bring in any back up they will die, this means little old ladies, cops, or random strangers,

17) you will get hurt, there is no denying it, it happens.

18) Dont touch any unknown plants. they just scream "bad idea"

19) Urban ledgends, ghost stories, and town ledgends are true and will apply in most cases.

20) if you find you ass in some Stephen King type shit kiss your ass goodbye. no one is safe there.

21) usually insane people are the ones you can trust