Rat Pack

Before your dad was a burning sensation in your grandfather's junk, Sammy Davis, Jr., Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford were perfecting the art of kicking every ass, ever.

KAPOW! That was your ass, Baby!

The name "Rat Pack" has been used for a number of groups over history, though the Vegas crooners are the ones most associated with it. However, they never used that name themselves. They preferred "The Summit." Sort of like when you were in high school and your nerd friends sat at the nerd lunch table and made up a name for your little group. Only, nobody was kicking these guys' asses.

For the purposes of this article, we're going to ignore Lawford and Bishop. Lawford because Sinatra kicked his coked-up ass out of the group. We're ignoring Bishop because, let's face it, when you read his name up there, your response was, "Who the hell is that?"

It's okay to have a boner. We do.

Sammy was a one-eyed black Jew back when people wouldn't let a TWO-eyed black Jew live down the street, let alone enter the front of the casino. So, he's pretty badass already. He came from a vaudeville background and was a great dancer.

Also, this was his first wife. Hachi-machi!

Before The Rat Pack started officially performing on stage together, they'd often just show up at each other's gigs. However, once they were 'officially' booked as an act, the 'star of the show' was either Dino or Frank, with the other being the 'co-star.' Then Sammy would come out fifteen minutes into the show and steal the whole thing.

If you don't know who Frank Sinatra, then what the hell is wrong with you? Growing up entertaining gangsters requires a certain level of being cool. And that level of cool far above the level of cool held by the guy who bought you and your high school friends booze, then insisted on going to the party, then got tanked out of his mind (on the beer you bought) and hit on every underage girl there.

The guy who indirectly named Scooby Doo.

As 'The Chairman of the Board,' Frank Sinatra was The Boss before Bruce Springsteen could even play guitar. He said "Jump" and you said "Hold on, let me get my giant, wind-up boot." He'd then kick your ass for being a nerd.

Dean Martin, tired of playing second banana to the most annoying person in history, decided to change his image.

No, not this annoying person. But seriously, what's with this guy?

No. Not this asshole, either.

DAMNIT! We're talking about Jerry Lewis.

Of course, the image on which he decided was as the coolest mother fucker on the planet who hung out with the other two coolest mother fuckers on the planet. Also, he pretended he was a drunk. It got no less endering when actually became a drunk.

Pictured: Your dorm wall and a cry for help.

How awesome was this fellow? He was ELVIS MOTHER FUCKIN' PRESLEY'S favorite singer. THAT'S how awesome this dude was.

Back when Vegas required a suite and tie just to lose sixty grand a the craps table, it was only a few casinos in the middle of the hot-ass, fucking desert. These guys might as well have put on a tool belt and built the damn thing by themselves.

Speaking of Vegas, you know how your grandpa is prone to say things like, "Aren't black people cute when they're kids?" Well, the '60s were like that. And Frank and Dino would not have any of that bullshit. Some clubs required African American performers to enter from the rear and not stay in the hotel. What was their solution? Fuck that club. And they were big enough to just fuck over clubs like that.

Tuxedoes AND smoking? I want to go to there.