Aspergers Syndrome

Aspergers Syndrome is a form of autism which brings social and physical awkwardness to its inflicted; along with tuned senses and deep obsessions on certain topics.

The editor of this article. Someone who enjoys every minute of her Aspergers Syndrome.
The editor of this article. Someone who enjoys every minute of her Aspergers Syndrome.
cracked.com aspergers kid. He looks cool. [but he looks funny too]
cracked.com aspergers kid. He looks cool. [but he looks funny too]
Wikipedia Aspergers Kid. He looks like hes waiting for tea and cookies.
Wikipedia Aspergers Kid. He looks like hes waiting for tea and cookies.

Just The Facts

  1. The person writing this article is a 15 year old girl. With Aspergers Syndrome! :]
  2. The sydrome is pronounced ASS BURGERS. But no; burgers do not shoot out of our asses; Sadly :[
  3. Being aspergers is a form of autism; we have the coolio support ribbon with the rainbow puzzle pieces!
  4. Many of the world's geniouses were/are thought to have aspergers syndrome. I'll explain in more depth later.
  5. No matter what pills you give someone; Aspergers Syndrom is incurable. People with the syndrome just have to learn to unlock its awesomeness.
  6. Aspergers Syndrome is often mistaked for many other fake diseases made up by crazy psychiatrists. Like ADHD.

What The F**k Is ASPERGERS SYNDROME?!

A disorder named for and founded by some Austrian dude (Hans Asperger) who studied some physically and socially clumsy kiddos.

Symptoms Include
-odd in depth obessions
-talks alot; even when noone's listening/cares
-Too much or too little eye contact
-Poor/Delayed motor skills
-Thoughts are verbalized often
-Trouble reading facial expression/sarcasm/body language
-Unusual voice
-Weird/unique use of words; high vocabulary
-Generally Anti-Conformist
-Immature
-Too trusting


Also; Webster has this to say:

": a developmental disorder resembling autism that is characterized by impaired social interaction, by repetitive patterns of behavior and restricted interests, by normal language and cognitive development, and often by above average performance in a narrow field against a general background of deficient functioning-called also Asperger's disorder"

Aspergers: Pros && Cons

Please know that all of this is general :] Some aspergers kids wont have their senses tuned quite right for the picky eater part; and some will be lucky enough to be in an enviroment where they dont get teased often.

&&As catchy and cool as it sounds... its true too:

Aspie Wannabes

Sadly, there are some people out there who just wish they were as awesome as real Aspergers kids. Truth is, they're not, but hey they can always pretend...right? Well, not without looking like total morons. There are two main types of wanna-be Aspies out there. Let me explain.

Type 1:

This is the obnoxious, nasty, type of wannabe asperger kid who is really not too fond of the human race. They want a "medical" and/or "valid" excuse to be a total dick to everyone, stay in their room like a hermit all day, and to withdraw from society as a whole. Perhaps they withdraw to some virtual world.

The thing that these trolls don't know is that Aspergers kids aren't THAT withdrawn from society. They are actually very interested with sharing their intrests and "obessions" with other people, and they enjoy talking to and with people. Problem is, that some people get annoyed listening to them obsess over stuff, and then often end up being ignored without even noticing. These hermits just aren't that great at obsessing being they dont talk much in the first place.

Type 2:

These people claim they have aspergers solely to look intelligent. Perhaps they were reading some book or they were watching something on TV and picked up on the fact that aspergers children often have "above average IQ's". The aspergers club also has many famous "geniuses" within its halls, including Albert Einstien, Bill Gates, and Sir Issac Newton.

Sounds enticing huh? Not when you consider that Aspergers kids are only smart because they're little boxes of obsession, and on top of that their sensitive eyes and ears remember pretty much everything they see and hear in a classroom. So now you're sitting here thinking "Wait, isn't that how every other smart person gets smart"?

Umm. Pretty much, yes. Minus the obsessions. However other smart people have common sense, and usually other smart people know how to read body language and stuff like that too. Aspergers kids dont. It takes them a while to figure out when people are ignoring them. Also if you throw a joke or puzzle at them that they've never seen or heard anything like before, watch them sit there with this "I dont get it" look on their face.

Anyways, if you want to be an aspie just so you can claim the intelligence of one, whatever, go ahead. Just know that you're making your self look totally weird. Plus, you'll never have the memory or the senses of a real aspie, so in the end you score just below a wigger.

Wanna be aspies should really just STOP infringing on the scene of real aspergers kids and go make their own awesomeness. Sheesh!

Famous Peoples With Aspergers!!

Albert Einstein


Satoshi Tajiri


Craig Nicholls


Bill Gates


Gary Numan


Sir Issac Newton


&& NIKOLA TELSA ??! <3

Is there a cure for Aspergers?

No.

But would we really want there to be? Aspergers kids are fun to watch and give some people joy to make fun of. && being an true aspergers kid is a very special privilage; being they can look at things in different ways and have amazing focus. Really, you can never treat aspergers or make someone more "normal" with pills or that shiznit anyways; so back off dumb pharmaseutical companies!!