Weed

Weed is a hardy, flowering plant with sticky buds that many people use to reach a state of mental retardation.)

Typical teenage stoner. This could be you if you're lucky.

Just The Facts

  1. Weed makes you high.
  2. Weed impairs short-term memory, causing the user to forget what he/she said, ate, wrote, did or boned five minutes ago.
  3. Sixty-trillion people smoke weed annually. Thats twice the population of India.
  4. ...Oh yea, weed makes you high.

Quality

As Bill Clinton can tell you, weed comes in differing qualities, and they're all good to inhale. What's scientifically called "sticky-icky green shit" is the highest quality. Just ask lil jon, he knows what's up.

Lil jon f'ed up on WEED

The lowest quality is aptly named "brown dry brick-shit"

This is typically only consumed by poor stoners cause it's cheap and abundant. An example of this low quality stuff is below:

actually its fake dog poo, but not far off

Why weed is good for you

There are numerous reasons why weed is good for you, too many to name, so here are the main ones.

1. If you smoke it the cool kids will ask you to eat lunch at their table, and who doesnt want to be a cool kid?

2. In the long run, it increases IQ. Seriously, just ask any hard-core stoner and they can tell you magical, amazing things that they just wouldn't have known in their previous, unhigh lives.

3. It makes your dad's shitty cooking taste like a Rachel Ray masterpiece. (WARNING: avoid next-day leftovers of dad's cooking cause by then you're not high and it will make you puke your damn guts out)

4. Um, what was number 4....?

5. It turns you into this guy

lucky mf er

Fun things to do while high on weed

The best times are had when fucked up on weed. You could:

1. Play seven straight hours of Halo 3 with all your buddies, obviuosly sparking up a blunt every hour or so

2. Walk four miles to the nearest Taco Bell and order fifteen cheesy burritos. Mmmmmmm

3. Go to a bridge a throw cinder blocks at passing cars below. Not recommended for those wanting to avoid an anal pounding in the big house

4. Drive to Las Vegas and marry a transvestite hooker named Shayla Bangs. Or you could if she/he were still single, sorry

5. Carry out a conversation with martians and your geeky uncool dog.

And the list goes on. But just remember kids, always practice safe procedures for driving high. Remember to turn on headlights if its dark and always have the "im just real tired.... and semi-retarded" story ready for if the 5-0 pulls you over.