The Russians

From the surprisingly accurate nicknames of the ancient Czars to the surprisingly frightening facial hair of their Communist rulers, the Russians have always been a novel people.

A model for the Russian people (Well the Georgian ones anyway)

Just The Facts

  1. The typical Russian's wardrobe consists of assorted fur caps , rags, and army uniforms.
  2. The average Blood Alcohol level for a Russian is .42%
  3. They take great pride in being the second most used antagonist is American films.
  4. Russian Women are much more athletic than their male counterparts.

Russian Ethnicity

The modern Russian people are the descendants from a wide variety of ancient peoples including the Vikings, Mongols, and Slavs. The culmination of these warlike cultres gave rise to one of the most belligerent, intimidating, and ferocious peoples on the planet.

A vicious Russian soldier.

Pictured Above: The Perfect Soldier.

But since the Soviet Union fell, many "Russians" have outed themselves as non-Russians. From the Lithuanians to Georgians, all the way to the Chechnyans, the Russian population has been shown to be extremely diverse, to a point that it rivals America's.

It's like a melting pot for white chocolate!

It's like a melting pot......Well a melting pot for white chocolate and marshmellows.

Physical Fitness

Russians seem much taller than they really are in reality.

In many ways, the Russians are far superior than the average American, most notably in terms of physical resistance to pain, as well as emotion. Technically, this is only the case for Russian women, who have won many more international sporting events, Olympic medals, and even beauty contests than either their American counterparts as well as their Russian males. In particular, Russian women excel in tennis, with Maria Sharapova being a prime example.

Pictued Above: What you were thinking of after reading the previous sentance.

On the other side of the Gender spectrum sits the Russian men. For years they had been forced into Military service which had brought on an astounding level of national fitness, but with the Cold War over, it's only a matter of time before they all develop vodka bellies.

Russians in the Military

During the Cold War, he Soviet regime embarked on a massive military buildup which left them with a standing army of several million men and women. With all young men conscripted into the miltary at one point or another, Russian life was profoundly affected by the armed forces.