Zoolander

Zoolander is a 2001 movie about the model and his stuggles against the evil fashion dictator, Mugatu.

A small sample of Dereks Modelling range

The dark lord Mugatu

Just The Facts

  1. Derek Zoolander is a 3x VH1 male model of the year award winner.
  2. Has saved the malaysian Prime Minister.
  3. Has defeated the evil Mugatu.
  4. Founder of The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too.

Plot Synopsis/Part you can skip if you seen the movie.

Derek Zoolander was born into a poor New Jersey family, his father spencer was a coal mine worker and his mother died before he started modelling. Soon after his mother died he joined Maury Ballsteins' modelling corporation and never looked back. Derek shared a house with co-models Brint, Rufus and Meekus. During this time he won four VH1 model of the year awards and it was widely suspected he'd win his fourth in the 2000 VH1 awards, unfortunately this was not to be, Derek seemingly misinterpreted his loss as a win and went up to coolect hansels award but instead became a national embarressment. A few days later his friends died in a freak petrol fight accident and Derek retired from modelling.

Dereks retirement doesn't last long as Mugatu, the only designer to never hire Derek, lures him back out into the world of modelling using Derelicte a fashion line based on homeless people. Derek agrees as long as they build his Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too. Mugatus first attempt is woeful as a builds a ridiculous schools for ants. Derek is sent to a day spa with Katinka Ingabogovinanana for a week to prepare for his upcoming Derelicte show. When he returns home, a young journalist called Matilda and a former hand model informs him that Mugatu plans to use him to kill the Malaysian prime minister. Matilda and Derek head to the last place they'll look, Hansels. Hansel and Derek were cautious at first, but they threw away they're fueding and invaded Maury Ballstiens office after a night of wierd Pygmy sex. Derek proceeded to go to the Derelicte and overcame Mugatus evilness and saved the Malaysian Prime Minister using the most beautiful thing in the world, Magnum.

The most Beautiful thing in the world

Somewhere in these events is a walk-off hosted by David Bowie that is started by the line "Why don't you Dere-licte my balls, El Capitan?" and ends with a wedgie.

Derek, Hansel, and Maury leave the fashion industry to start The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too, while Derek and Matilda are shown as now having a son named Derek Zoolander Jr who has already developed his first modeling look.

Famous Advertisements.

You will remember Derek for such fine advertisements as the Aveda Mermaid Merman body lotion.

Maybe, you will remember him from the 26 minute superbowl halftime show where he reenacted the entire play cats using only hand puppets for the Darth Lord Toy Company..

Other advertisemets include:

  • Yokosono itzy bitsy tammagotchi jeans
  • Winchester Shotgun Beanies
  • Hannibal Lecter Home-Made Pies
  • Heather Mills Digging set
  • Nintendo Milking device
  • The Apple games console 2000
  • The Xbox Hand

Dereks Hair

Dereks hair is a soft and subtle style between out of control and messy/neat. He acheives this beautiful cross between these two differing styles by using Sam L Jackson Hair Gel with a touch of lemon juice and water. The result is perfect and unmatched by anyone. Hansel who is Dereks main rival has disgusting hair,which only cosmetic product is shampoo, I mean it's like he never ever heard of Hair Gel which is like, hello, earth to hansel.

Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too

Derek opened this school soon after his final retirement and here is somethings taught here:

  • How to become a model without getting your balls chewed off, taught by Maury Ballstein
  • Extreme Sports, taught by Hansel
  • How to kill any mythical creatures that attack(gym classe), taught by Wesley Snipes and Christopher Walken
  • How to pick members of the opposite sex, taught by the Sherminator