Dane Cook

Dane Cook is a douchebag. There, it's been summarized.

Hey, maybe if i yell this ridiculous story really loud and prance around stage, people will think it's funny.

No, i can't recall, Mr. Cook.


Just The Facts

  1. Dane Cook was born on March 18, 1972, the first child of Donna Cook and Satan.
  2. In 2003, Cook released his first CD, Harmful If Swallowed, but i'm gonna take the high road and not make a cum joke.
  3. Dane Cook played the lead in 2006's Employee of the Month, based on skewed data results that claimed people would rather see Cook in a leading role rather than Jessica Simpson's breasts.


Wikipedia says numerous commentators have characterized Cook as unfunny and banal (whatever the fuck that means, but i'd probably agree if I knew). Comedian Louis C.K. has charged Cook with plagirism, claiming C.K.'s bit "Itchy Asshole" was stolen by Cook. Gee, if i knew plagirisim was such a bad thing, I wouldn't have plagirised this whole article.