Parkour

Parkour is a sport invented in the 1980s as a means for a French dude to be awesome, but which was adopted by American kids in the 2000s as a way to suck.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Trident') != -1

Yep - he's serious.

Just The Facts

  1. Parkour is French for "nerd."
  2. Parkour was born awesome, but evolved into suck.
  3. A person who practices parkour is called a "traceur."

David Freaking Belle

David Belle is a man who wakes up in the morning and thinks it's a good idea to do a backflip off his house - not because he's making a movie or there's chicks watching - just fucking because.

When David Belle was three years old, he saw a Jackie Chan movie and thought: "what a pussy." The next day, Belle was doing full-twisting arabian sideflip-to-underbars off his house. He called it "parkour" because he was, unfortunately, French.

Simile

Today, parkour is like the Metallica of extreme sports: it was awesome in the 80s before you heard of it, but now all it does is embarrass itself and pretend not to notice.

Cracked on Parkour

We at Cracked really like parkour, in theory - it's a sport hobby for kids who grew up idolizing Jackie Chan but don't have the wherewithal themselves to become the world's greatest action hero. We're fine with that. In fact, the phenomenon is responsible for many of our most treasured youtube memories (see here, here, and here for parkour at its finest).

But let's be honest - much like NASCAR, we are far more interested in the epic fail than the epic win. We'd rather see a car doing a 200 mph cartwheel than crossing the finish line with dignity, and we'd rather see a traceur land on his face than his feet. Call us morbid if you must, but if you like to consider yourself more enlightened than we are, then you probably shouldn't watch these epic parkour fails: