McRib
The McRib. Is it a fast food taste delight so intense it can only be unleashed on the public in small increments or the most disgusting idea ever spawned from the bowels of the fast food industry? (Hint: it's both.)
Just The Facts
- The McRib consists of a slab of pork-like substance slathered in tangy barbecue sauce on a bun with onions and pickles.
- Despite being since discontinued as a regular menu item, the McRib still makes infrequent public appearances. Kind of like the Wachowski brothers, except delicious.
- Currently, voluntary consumption of a McRib does not require the signing of a liability waiver. That could change at any moment.
- The McRib was famously lampooned in episode 303 of The Simpsons when Krusty Burger introduced a new sandwich called The Ribwich.
The McRib: A Brief, Somewhat Factual History
The McRib is quite possibly the most polarizing fast food creation of all time. Just the mention of it can send most anyone into convulsions. For some, those convulsions are brought on by the mere thought of subjecting their gastrointestinal system to the hybrid Frankenstein like mash-up of rarely used pig parts that go into forming the McRib's meat-like patty. For others, the fits of spastic thrashing about are a result of fond memories of the orgasmic-like rush of joy that can only be achieved by indulging in a tasty McRib (or four).
Just like mom used to make
After testing well in the type of Midwestern markets where people willingly eat shit like venison or quail without getting so much as a recommendation from Anthony Bourdain first, the McRib was added to McDonald's menus nationwide in 1981. Sadly, in time the public's fascination with the tangy taste treat waned and the McRib was relegated to seasonal menu item status. For devoted followers, McRib season is akin to a weeks long national holiday celebrated via significant weight gain and frequent trips to the shitter.
It's the most wonderful time of the year
Despite the furor that regularly accompanies the return of the beloved pork temptation, McDonald's announced in 2005 that the McRib would be discontinued following a "McRib Farewell Tour." Within seconds of the announcement, public protests erupted.* Several groups of McRib devotees proposed a trade in which the heads of other farewell tour regulars such as The Eagles or Kiss would be offered up as a sacrifice to the fast food gods in exchange for sparing the McRib.*
100% less necessary than the McRib
Thankfully, the farewell tour was just a publicity stunt. The McRib would go on to enjoy a second and third farewell tour and still pops up on McDonald's menus from time to time. Unfortunately, news of the ploy did not reach The Eagles in time. They were sacrificed in an elaborate ceremony in the McDonald's parking lot on West Lincoln Avenue in Yakima, WA shortly after the announcement of the McRib's supposed retirement.*
Rest In Peace...except for you, Don Henley
* indicates unverified fact or outright lie
hard to believe people eat these nasty things.
ReplyThis time around, the McRib (aka McMess) does not seen so tasty as in past. Ironically, they started offering an extra McRib for $1.00 with purchase of a combo. No, Thanks. I usually regret my purchase now by the last bite.
ReplyI agree with DrConcierge! Like bad rancid old meat smell! Shame on McDonald's! 8 - (
ReplyPhew McRib! Rancid! Rancid! NOTHING covers up the smell. Not even frozen fresh. BBQ sauce, onions pickles? Nothing! Rancid McRib will be in the headlines soon!
ReplyDespite being since discontinued as a regular menu item... ...Not where I live it hasn't being. I have a love/hate relationship with it. (Love to eat, hate the loo trip I know is coming soon.)
ReplyThat thing is SCARY. D:
ReplyMcRib is a reular item and available as menus inmost McDs in germany. Yay for germany! The McRib is one of the very few reasons to frequent McDreck.
Replyoh god, if only some bloated, sweaty mid-westerners had ritualistically sacrificed the eagles on a huge stone slab, i'd keep them in mc ribs for the rest of their brief lives.
ReplyI ate a McRib on a dare from my dad once (asshole), and i gotta say...not that bad.
ReplyTrue. True INDEED.
Hahahaha I feel like if you ate 3 McRib fast enough, you could die..of course this could vary depending on body size, amount of food in stomach, etc...but yeah, that shits awful. Probably made of insects, just like the parody from Simpsons.
ReplyMmmm... McRib. Delicious...
ReplyI really find the McRib quite disgusting.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesSo does your mom tits!!!!
His moms tits finds the McRib disgusting? That does not make any sense.
His mom's funbags have very discerning tastes, what of it?
bring the mcrib back and keep it back.
ReplyI guess according to some Americans I'm lucky to live in Germany, only about 5 miles away from the nearest McDonald's... the McRib is regular here.
ReplyAll year.
Except at breakfast time...
that's not a portuguese comercial, it's brazilian!
Replyone of the best flow charts I've seen
Replyegh, god, and I just ate dinner, don't do this to me!
ReplyHey,I AM eating dinner.
One day I didn't have time to eat until bedtime, and I was so hungry I gobbled four McRibs. In the morning, I smelled this weird odor that was like rancid McRibs. Turned out it was coming from my armpits. The smell cut right through my deodorant like it wasn't there. It was freaky.
ReplyThat is terrifying on levels I can't even comprehend right now.
Awesome!
You mentioned the Eagles being sacrificed in Yakima, but you failed to mention when they sacrificed Cher in the parking lot of the McDonalds on Apple Way in Coeur D'Alene, Idaho. And again in the one on Seltice Way in Post Falls, Id. And again in the one on Highway 41 in Rathdrum, Id. For some reason she keeps returning.
ReplyThat isn't Cher returning. It is transvestites dressed as Cher migrating to Vegas!
I really like the way you posted of making Mcrib. It's really funny I must say and the photograph of all in black is awesome according to me..fit flops
ReplyI really like the way you spam bot. It's really funny I must say and the english of all is bad is titties according to me...dik pumps