Linux
GNU/Linux, more commonly known simply as Linux, is a free operating system and gateway into a dimension comprised almost entirely of brain-rape and penguins.
Just The Facts
- It's free.
- It's stable and secure.
- Assuming you chmod +x /usr/bin/firefox, install the proper libraries, and learn the correct incantation to make Flash work, you can use it to look at boobies on the Internet.
- Ironically, the boobies you would be looking at have an 80 percent chance of being hosted on a server running it.
History
While Microsoft and Apple were started by nerds whose eyes had been replaced by cartoonish dollar signs, the Linux kernel is the fruit of one commie grad student's hobby in the early 90s. Originally designed as a clone of Unix to run on the creator's personal machine, Linus Torvalds released Linux (see what he did there?) to the then youthful Interwebs under the GPL (an Open Source license allowing software to be freely modified and distributed).
In the years since, this has spawned innumerable related projects, distributions and a cult-like fanbase. Hell, they even have a Chuck Norris-esque Linus Torvalds facts sheet.
Fact: Linus Torvalds can touch MC Hammer.
Bill Gates and his evil minions at Microsoft have gone to great lengths to undermine Torvalds's pet project, including sabotaging both the GPL in general and Linux in particular. It's hard to determine exactly how this cheap fuckery has effected the open source community, but it's safe to assume they didn't escape completely unscathed. When a dick the size of Bill Gates has his way with you, you feel it afterwards.
Vista Home Service Pack 3
Distributions
Unlike Apple's Mac OS, GNU/Linux operating systems can come in a huge variety of flavors, many of which more or less contain the same software, leading one to wonder if these people are really just fucking with you.
LOL, j/k
We chose not to include Microsoft in this comparison because one company pushing out 70 different versions of the same operating system is just fucking annoying.
Software choices aside, the distributions do tend to differ in scope, ease of use and optimizations. They run the gambit from nerd-centric fare like Gentoo - which requires the user to optimize and compile his or her own kernel at install (also watch out for the new Gentoo Mindfuck Edition, which somehow manages to make this process even more tedious and cumbersome), to easier to use - one might say modernized - options such as Ubuntu and Fedora. Also included are specialty distros for science, engineering and porn. Sadly, that last one was made up.
Linux vs. Windows
Ever had one of those dreams where the monster is chasing you and you happen to have like a massive chaingun or something, but no matter how hard you try you can't get the thing to shoot? And then the monster catches you? And then you wake up screaming with a boner?
Jesus, that was terrifying.
That's what Linux is like when you first cross over from Windows.
You can make Linux do just about anything you want it to outside of fellatio, and we're pretty sure even that is being coded somewhere. The problem most people have is that they're preconditioned to expect things to work right out of the box. Linux doesn't work that way, since its various developers take it as a foregone conclusion that you're not completely rock-fuck stupid. Was that an incorrect assumption?
Well?
Take Ubuntu, for example. Ubuntu, and all of its incarnations, is touted as being Linux for everyday people. Of course, that's like saying that heroin is for people who aren't comfortable taking aspirin, but you know. Whatever.
Anyway, Ubuntu, even as simple and relatively straightforward as it is, can still be incredibly frustrating if you go in expecting pure awesomeness with no assembly required. That makes a certain amount of sense, especially when you consider that almost everything Americans consume is prepared for them in some way. You don't have to install the wipers and tires on that brand-new Altima you just bought, do you? Of course not, that would be stupid. So why do you need to update Ubuntu almost as soon as you install it?
2010 Nissan Altima. Some assembly required.
Simple: efficiency. Not efficient in the sense that you can just jump online and work the fields in Farmville with all your old high school hambeast friends, although you can actually do that. Rather, it's the sense of the word that implies you don't necessarily need all the incredible amounts of useless shit that comes on other operating systems. Because of that efficiency, Ubuntu is slim enough that you can install it inside of Windows. That's right - you can actually have a fully functional, surprisingly powerful OS completely contained within the pale bloated mass that is Windows Vista.
That's like being married to Rosie O'Donnell, but having the freedom to climb inside her vast aircraft hanger interior to bone Hayden Panettiere whenever the hell you feel like it.
Any. Damn. Time.
Linux v Mac
Forgetting for the moment the slobbering, eternal Mac vs Windows fanboy slap-fight, Mac has a surprising amount of similarities in common with Linux. They're both built on the old Unix operating system, both are slick-looking and fairly lean, and both are virtually invulnerable to most viruses. So what's the biggest difference?
Well, for one thing, Linux allows you to actually change things within the operating system to your own personal preference. And by "change things" we mean important things, not just your background image or how many icons you can cram into your fucking Dock.
See, penguins love retarded fruit.
And another, perhaps more relevant difference: a new Macbook will cost you in the neighborhood of $1000, and you're pretty much stuck with what you buy. And Linux? Oh, Linux is free. Did we not mention that?
So, if you have a bare-bones PC with a hard-drive you don't feel like weighing down with Windows, or you don't have parents who'll buy you a sweet pink Air to slap Sparklehorse stickers on and take with you to Starbucks, go with Linux.
Look at that fucking hipster.
Is it easy? No, but nothing worthwhile ever is. Does it work? Damn right it does.
Plus, penguins are awesome. Just sayin'.
If you use VirtualBox, you CAN run Linux (any form) in Mac OS X. Can't replace it though…
ReplyYou can use virtual machines to run operating systems in the same way you can use your hand for sex.
Ubuntu's pretty s****y, even for a Linux distro (YEAH I WENT THERE). Whenever I MUST work with Linux, I prefer Sabayon. Or anything else that doesn't get all fucked up by its own update software.
ReplyYou forgot the ability for macs to connect with alien motherships, surely that carries some weight in the debates.
ReplyMy dad's a right-wing, small-gvernment, non-fundamentalist type; he found out most people consider his brand of "neo-conservatism" to be libertarian. But he won't call himself that because he doesn't want to sound like a know-it-all college student.
ReplyAfter coming home from deer season, he went meet with some old college friends- very trendy liberals. They were all sooo jealous of his new Mac. Suffice it to say he didn't realize that Macs were the hipster computers when he made the purchase.
There is no freaking way Ubuntu won`t find your wifi and hook up with it. Unless you`ve got some strange offplanet-built PC...
ReplyI bought the netbook I'm using right now with the intention of using ubuntu with it. Turns out it won't connect to wifi on ubuntu and I'm done spending hours trying to install the correct driver so it will. If you know how to help, please message me, but for now, I'm stuck on freaking Windows 7 Starter.
ReplyI had this exact problem last month with my new netbook, the WEP code didn't seem to be working so I gave up for the night. When I turned my computer back on next day it connected instantly. Last week I had to reformat my hard drive and I had the same problem, but it seems that restarting did the trick.
Re-installing Ubuntu might help. I don't know why, but it fixed it for me.
Okay, I can do all that cool stuff on Linux... and I can also do it on my Windows box. Also, I can play games without wrapping everything, I'm compatible with about 80% of other computers, and I didn't have to assemble my OS like it came from IKEA. Linux is great for developers and servers, sure, but why again should the average computer user care about it?
Reply1. microsoft is evil
2. windows is insecure.
3. apple is evil
The hipsters must never know about this.....posted from a ubuntu laptop
ReplyYears ago, when I worked at Linux Journal as their graphic designer, I re-worked the "Tux" graphic as an .eps and a more usable web-worthy version, which was put on the Linux Journal web site. And now, years and years later, I keep seeing my handiwork crop up in articles such as this. Sweet. I also was a member of one of the several meetings where the term "open source" was decided on as being the standard. Rock on Mr. Torvalds. He still is Batman, if you ask me.
ReplyCool story bro.
If you don't have a specific need to run Linux, don't run Linux. Contrary to what the article says, it ain't worthwhile. I have a fully configured Gentoo derivative (Sabayon) sitting on my hard drive but keep booting WinXP anyways because of sheer convenience and ergonomy. Also, penguins are cool but Tux sucks.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesFweh, I love Linux. I installed Arch on my laptop because I didn't want to pay out the ass for Windows after just finishing paying off college, and the only reason I ever bother to go back to Windows now is to remind myself how to use the programs for work. Linux can be just as convenient as Windows if you know how to kick it in the ass and make it be that convenient.
I have a Linux laptop(Linux Mint) and a Windows laptop(7 64bit), now to be fair there is a major hardware quality difference between a system76 and a cheap HP but... The Windows machine lost it's cd-rom drive one day not long after I bought it then found it again randomly after I looked for bad registry settings, reset it several times, etc.
Although I really don't let the Windows machine on the Internet much anyway it constantly refuses to connect to the wifi that the Linux laptop has no issues with.
The kicker I bought the Windows machine two weeks ago the Linux machine has been in faithful service for years.
Dude, Gentoo is the least convenient distro you could possibly have used. Nobody chooses Gentoo without really wanting to.
You just have the wrong distro. I tried Ubuntu last year when my laptop, which was running WinXP, was running so slow that I was literally contemplating throwing it in the garbage. It was and remains like a brand new computer. I Am running 11.10 and have only one problem with an, apparently unfixable, screen dimming bug that I circumvent by just putting the laptop into standby or sleep if I'm away for more than 10 minutes. Even with that glitch it runs better than XP, which had quite a few more untouchable glitches. Having an OS that will load in 60 to 90 seconds on a laptop from 2006, and work the way it is supposed to, is worth having to do my own trouble shooting, especially considering that without it my laptop would essentially be a brick by now.
I'd recommend Ubuntu because to anyone because it is convenient and ergonomic. Although troubleshooting can be a b***h when you know little about Linux's deeper workings, but with Ubuntu at least there is a lot of help, and fewer glitches, especially a few months after release. It is way better than any Windows OS. But if you have an older computer, which you do, get 11.04 or any earlier version. When I upgraded to 11.10 I had to upgrade my RAM to get it to run smoothly. But there are also many other versions that are designed to run on older less powerful computers, like Kubuntu.
And everyone has the specific need not to use the soul sucking creation that is Windows.
(Interesting sidenote: the world's 10 fastest supercomputers all run on some version of Linux)
I heard a rumor that there's only ever been 1 operating system ever written, albeit various versions and improvements have been made. The original home computer, the Apple 2, and prior advanced electronic machines had no general purpose software/hardware interface layer. The software was simply placed on the magnetic or card storage medium, then the circuts were connected or not. Eventually more complex machines were built, and hard drives had to be shared by multiple programs. This was the original reason for the operating system, Disk Operating System or "DOS", was to share the hard disk with multiple programs. It eventually included support for arbitrary hardware via programmable "device drivers" or in the olden days, "TSRs" (remember mscdex.exe ? That was the original generic device driver, for a CD-ROM type device) Windows 3.1 was the first sold version of a dramatic new improvement on the computer, which prior to windows could only run one program at a time. A special program was written, to which other programs could be written for (a "windows" program) at which point multiple programs could be run "simultaneously" by a single program that runs first and quickly, known as the "kernel". Historically Mac has been the platform for new technology, which is easier to debug on a fixed hardware platform and a premium price is charged for the newness, and the UI is typically made simpler with a bigger focus on the programs themselves. Windows is the mid range standard. For a while there were monopoly threats, so bill made a copy of the old windows source, renamed all the variables and functions, and called it "Linux", along with putting a bunch of random names on it, to claim there was competition. This is also the story behind OS/2 and Solaris, although to be fair OS/2 was monopoly based, while solaris was an early satellite-oriented version of windows/computer OS. I should note he added a bunch of bugs to linux, which is why GCC should never be used for anything but learning, since Visual Studio is the same program with more options and fewer bugs.
ReplyCool story brah.
so like, i still dont exactly understand the point behind linux. got any examples of wat u can change thats so important? my friend said its basically just empty and you have to be tech savy or sumthin and code in ur own shit... but like, when is that ever necessary apart frm when being poor?
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesIf you dont understand, dont bother with it.
You can change quite a bit. For example, if you're paranoid you can set it so that a password is required for the OS to even load. If you need to be able to run Windows programs,(because there's no Linux equivalent for something you need), just install a little program called WINE and you can run it.
yes you do have to be tech savvy.
if your software breaks you can just crack open the code and fix it instead of sitting on the phone to tech support.
you can prettymuch make linux do anythng , the only limit is your imagination and tech ability
@Caliatom
Yeah, because WINE runs Windows programs so well. Oh wait, no it doesn't. It crashes frequently and is essentially useless.
Also, what the hell is the point of setting a password before the OS loads? If I really want your crap (which, since you're an idiot, you probably have nothing of worth to me) I'll boot up from CD (which can be Linux or Windows) and get whatever I need anyway.
@sirinon
Yeah, so if your software breaks, you just hop in and fix it? How many times have you had to do that, really? And how many times out of those did you end up not creating more of a mess? Cool, you can edit your source code. Awesome. You know what most people (including me, for the most part) don't give a flying s**t about on a daily basis? Editing code. I like to get on my computer and have everything work. Linux doesn't do that without putting hours upon hours of work into it. I'd prefer not to have to go on a quest to search through the source to figure out why my stuff doesn't work. With Windows, I haven't had to do that, and I haven't had Windows crash on me since XP SP2. Linux, meanwhile, crashes almost every time I use it, and that's pretty much every distro I've used.
The point behind Linux is freedom and control: the power to control what your operating system is, and the freedom to use, modify and distribute things as you please without worrying about some f**k sueing you over it. People who develop, maintain and hack FOSS software do it because they enjoy it and believe in it. And yes, you need to be "tech savvy" in the sense that a computer is a tool, not some magic fuckin' box. If you want to pay someone else an exhorbitant fee to do the work you can accomplish in a couple hours, go for it; that is your prerogative, and I no one has the right to judge you poorly for it.
@Buddha49er: You probably shouldn't be calling folks idiots if you don't know what you're talking about. You don't know how to use Linux: fine. Lots of people are ignorant about lots of shit. That doesn't make said s**t worthless.
@Anok: I never said I didn't know how to use it. I've used linux and got it to work. However, Linux is still a worthless f*****g operating system. It's more unstable than my grandpa off his meds, and adds nothing I can't get out of an operating system with actual support (not a bunch of Linuxtards saying "OH MAN, U R SO NEWB 4 NOT NOING DAT LOLZ!"). I'd rather not use a computer than go through the bullshit of setting up Linux. Tell you what: if they make one that's stable and useful without having to spend hours finding a driver to work with my hardware, I'll think about it.
I love ubuntu! When I get a new laptop, Im gunna have the douchebags at geeksquad uninstall windows 7 and put on ubuntu 10.10 or what ever the current version is at that time. Heh, I could probly do it myself but Im a lazy teen.
ReplyI sure hope your laptop has the right wireless driver for ubuntu. Mine didn't.
Freedom over control freak-dom! (I'm talking about you Jobs)
ReplyWhenever a Mac user starts slobbering about their system "just working", I remind them about Linux (which "just works" if you've gotten a double digit IQ or higher), and then say "How much did you pay for that new hard-drive? What, you just bought a whole new Mac instead? I got a 500 Gb for my Linux box for $80". Makes steam come out of their ears.
Reply*rolls eyes* Maybe I'm just in the minority here, but I'm perfectly capable of using Linux. I just have no reason to. It doesn't "just work". It requires a ridiculous amount of tweaking to get things going, you have to go and obtain a separate package to be able to use formats like DVD and MP3 (at least in the case of Ubuntu), and heaven forbid you want to use a webcam (driver hunts are such fun). That's fine if you want to do all that, but don't come here and talk about that constituting "just work[ing]". Mac is ridiculously overpriced and is NOT cut out for users that need to get technical with their machines, but it trumps Linux in the ease-of-use department. And for most people, that's all a home computer needs.
Dude, I have Linux, and it does NOT "just work".
Keep in mind I have not used Linux Mint, which I hear it user-friendly, but even Ubuntu takes a lot of tweaking. I kind of enjoy it, but most people don't.
I have an old desktop at home. It's being used by my little brother. Linux was a blessing, since it allowed that old thing to keep running reasonably well, despite almost pushing 8. That said, I had to do some pretty intensive tweaking just to get that thing easily usable for him. Hunting down drivers, messing around with ROOT, adjusting the UI, finding software he might need/want, etc. That's with xubuntu.
On Ubuntu 10.10, which I have on my laptop, I had to do some pretty intense tweaking there, as well. And it doesn't help that Ubuntu seems to be making it harder and harder to adjust the UI as you like to.
Linux is nice and it definately does work, but there's no way in hell it "just works". Windows and OSX are pretty user-friendly. Linux still has a long way to go.
Really liked this article. I used Vista, then Ubuntu for a couple of months and now I'm with Windows 7. I'd take Ubuntu over Vista ANYDAY, it worked perfectly plus it didn't take 40% of my f*****g hard drive
ReplyWhile I agree that Win7 is huge and Ubuntu is the way to go... do you have a 20 gig harddrive? If you do, you've got more problems then OS pal.
who the hell would have a 20 gig HD mine is 300 and thats enough for most of my stuff.
Vista may be full of s**t, but it doesn't mess up for everybody. When it does mess up though, it messes up bad.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesAgreed. I've heard bad s**t about Vista, but, really, I haven't had any problems with mine. Had it for about a year and I love it. But I still fear the day when it shits out a nice, big, steaming mess of virtual poo... It is to be expected, really, coming from Microsoft.
Vista is disgusting. And it has nothing to do with "messing up". I can't work Linux at all (regardless of the fact that my IQ is 137 =\), but Vista is REALLY disgusting.
No one cares about your IQ. By the way, mine is a bajillion, so I have validated my comment.
The Two reasons I hate vista, the amount of space it takes for useless crap, and my games periodically crash for imaginary reasons; apparently so that Vista has a reason to f**k with me.
Replyi dont see why everyone is bitching about windows. i have never had issues with vista. never. in fact the only thing i have issues with is frickin itunes.
ReplyDitto.
Great Article! Main point, Linux users (like me) want something fast without viruses but don't want to bleed the life out of their wallet (also like me).
Reply