Racism is an old-fashioned way of looking at the world that some people still adhere to in a quaint sort of way.

Just The Facts

  1. In November 2008, the USA conquered racism forever
  2. It used to be a bit of a big deal
  3. Bill O'Reilly is racist. There, we said it.

Cracked on Racism

Racism is the name given to the historical Grand Narrative (that is, it tries to explain everything that has happened in one theory) that blames all existing problems on people from other countries.

Once it becomes clear that people from other countries can't always be blamed for everything Racist adherents then attempt to work out who within their country are actually from other countries. Racists believe that countries are made up only of people who look exactly the same as each other. Therefore anyone deviating from this rule must be who is causing the problem.


Not caused by white people

Racists therefore develop an overinflated opinion of themselves while simultaneously belittle and begrudge anyone who is different. They do not make great dinner party guests for this reason. Or great human beings for that matter.


Fuck off and read a book you insufferable assholes

Having said that, the following countries are deemed still worthy of mockery by the team here at Cracked:

  1. France (cheese eating surrender monkeys)
  2. Germany (dangerously obedient)
  3. Mexico (USA's shoe)
  4. Canada (USA's hat)
  5. Japan (batshit insane)
  6. Belgium (nowheresville)
  7. Italy (First world country, but nobody's told them yet)
  8. Texas (what people really mean when they don't like America)
  9. Russia (if you don't laugh, you'll shit your pants)
  10. Britain (they have a Queen for fuck's sake)

Honourable mention: Finland (neither Norway nor Sweden)