Boy Scouts of America

The Boy Scouts of America (aka The BS of America, BS of A), is a conspiracy run by crazy gay sadists in order to traumatize America's youth.

Guess where the arrow goes.  (HINT: You poop from there.)

Just The Facts

  1. The BS of America is a conspiracy run by insane homosexuals.
  2. Over 110 million Americans have had their lives permanently scarred by the BS of A.
  3. Only you can prevent Scouting from ever happening again.

Cracked on Boy Scouts of America

If you never were a Boy Scout, consider yourself lucky. If you have blocked all your memories of being a Scout, then consider yourself lucky as well. The rest of us have to struggle to cope every day with our past. The Boy Scouts of America (BS of A), is a dangerous organization and needs to be stopped now. By being aware of the horrors of Scouting, you can protect the next generation from the BS of A.


The Scouting Movement originated in the early 1900's with Lord Baden-Powell, who was a British Army officer (that is to say, a flaming homosexual). After obviously being inspired by Satan himself, he invited 22 boys to an island off the coast of England to "teach them the ways of Scouting". He soon wrote Scouting for Boys, which became a highly successful manual for aspiring pedophiles.

"I do say ol' chap, I am bloody queer" - Lord Baden-Powell

America has had a long love-hate relationship with Britain, and like most relationships, it has involved the exchange of venereal diseases. The Beatles, The Office, and poor dental hygiene are just some the things that we've caught thanks to our motherland, but the worst has been Scouting, by far.

The Boy Scouts of America was spawned in 1910, and it soon caught the attention of other organizations with "similar interests", like the YMCA and the Mormon Church, who helped it extend it's vile reach nationwide.

It's science.

Principles of Scouting

The Scouting movement claims to be focused on patriotism, strength, character and above all, absolute heterosexuality. However, experience tells us that more often than not this is just compensating for something.

Is anyone else getting a really creepy vibe from this?

The leaders of the BS of A are not only secretly gay and batshit insane, but they are completely sadistic as well. Every effort is made to ensure that Boy Scouts suffer as much as possible. Their motto, "Be Miserable", adequately reflects this. This is precisely why the outdoors is such a big part of Scouting. Despite the fact that humans have worked for millenia to get away from the bitch that is Mother Nature, boys are still hauled to the middle of God-knows-where in the name of "good ol' fashioned fun".

Look how much fun they're having!

Dangers of Scouting

First off, you seriously have to question the mental stability of anyone who thinks that sending a bunch of young boys into the wilderness with grown men is a great idea. Even on the off chance that the men happen to not be rapists, they're probably like most American men. That is to say, they're probably retarded as fuck, and putting them in charge of hyperactive teens is just asking for bad shit to happen.

Even if you avoid death by sheer stupidity, you still have god-damn nature to worry about. Hypothermia, hyperthermia, snake bites, spider bites, ticks, wolves, cougars, bears, floods, avalanches, forest fires, lightning and fucking poison ivy are all out to kill you, or at least just ruin your whole life.

Burn it... Burn it ALL down...

In conclusion, the Boy Scouts of America is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the cancer that's killing our nation.