The Middle Finger

Nothing says quite as much without saying anything at all as the middle finger.


WWJD... oh.

So easy a fetus can do it.

Just The Facts

  1. The middle finger is the longest of all the fingers on the hand.
  2. To present someone with just your middle finger is called several things including "The Bird", "Flipping Someone Off", and "Giving The Finger."
  3. Sticking up your middle finger at someone is a very common greeting used by many people around the world.

How to give someone the finger. A practical tutorial.

Start by facing another person. For starters try a parent, grandparent, spouse, anyone who you feel is one of most important people in your life. There are several correct ways to flip someone off. This is just the most straightforward way. First start by holding your hand in front of you with your fingers open and your palm facing you. It should look like this.

If your hand looks like this, congratualtions, you can follow simple directions.

Next take your pinky, ring, index finger and thumb and pull them down to your palm. If you have done this correctly you should end up with something like this.

Good job! You have successfully given someone The Bird.

After you do this the person you do it to will probably do it back, act upset, maybe yell a bit, and pobably storm off. This is completely normal. This is their way of telling you that you have correctly flicked them off, and decided to retun the greeting. Take it as a special sort of congratulations. Once that person is gone you can practice some of these more advanced techniques on other important family members.

This next technique is very similar to the first. It is probably the technique that the term "flipping someone off" is derived from. First start again with your palm facing you but this time keep your fingers balled into a fist with your thumb holding down your middle finger. Like this:

Make sure to keep tension on your middle finger. Then just when the person is about to ask you what you're doing release your middle finger and it should get the same end result as the previous time you gave the finger to a loved one take their reaction as a compliment and continue.

This should get you through most of your middle finger flinging needs, but don't let it hold you back. These are not the only ways to give someone the finger. Be creative. You could hold your fist up to your mouth and pretend to be blowing up a baloon while slowly raising your middle finger. People will probably just die of laughter after that. To try and be sneaky you could scratch your forhead with your middle finger but make it kind of obvious to the people around you that you are using your middle finger to do it. Everyone will most likely applaud you for your cleverness. Once you have come up with a couple good ideas on your own you could even try using both middle fingers at the same time.

After successfully giving the finger to your closest family and friends you may find yourself with a lot of extra free time. This is the perfect time to try and expand the base of people you flip off. You may want to start slow like with random people that you happen to be driving by. It may be best to start with minivan moms and move on to bigger things as you feel comfortable like bikers and police officers.

This is as much advice that we can give you. Just remember keep practicing, and soon you will be telling people "fuck you" and "up yours" like a pro... oh... did we forget to mention that's what giving someone the finger means? Silly us. Well on that note I guess the only thing left to say is...