Mega Man

Mega Man is a game series published by Capcom. First released in 1987, the series has spawned over 100 titles and several spin-offs. Mega Man tells the classic tale of one machine's struggle against eight other machines and a guy with a mustache.

In the future, robots look pretty dissapointing.

Yeah, that's not any better.

Just The Facts

  1. Mega Man was unique upon its release because it allowed the player to select what order they played through the levels.
  2. This has since stopped being unique due to the previously mentioned 100 or so titles that followed.
  3. To put that in perspective, there have been more Mega Man games in 23 years then there will be years in your life, and chances are many of those years will be spent trying to beat Mega Man III.

Cracked on Mega Man

In the year 200X, Dr. Light and his assistant Dr. Wily build a humanoid robot capable of free thought, going against common sense and everything Isaac Asimov ever wrote. Eventually Dr. Light builds two robots to assist him in his lab, Rock and Roll, before building six Robot Masters to oversee the operations of lesser machines. These Robot Masters have unique and not-at-all dangerous abilities to help them in their tasks, like spewing hellfire and having the strength to squeeze a Volvo like an accordion.

The world celebrated Dr. Light's genius without recognizing the contributions of Dr. Wily and his awesome mustache. Left to his own devices and facial hair, Wily breaks into the lab, steals the Robot Masters and reprograms them for evil, a logical decision to make when one isn't nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Once Dr. Light realizes he may have indirectly damned mankind he upgrades Rock for combat, dubs him Mega Man and gives him the quest of bringing Wily to justice.

Gameplay

Mega Man games follow a common formula: after selecting a level the player navagates their way through the stage, slaying robots until coming upon the Robot Master waiting for them in an unfurnished square room (it should be noted that Bed, Bath and Beyond goes out of buisness well before 200X, thus explaining the lack of wall-paper or arm chairs). As Mega Man defeats the bosses he also acquires their power, turning it into a unique weapon which can be used to exploit the weakness of another Robot Master. In that sense it's kind of like The Highlander, replacing the homo-erotic undertones with Bubble Man.

Pictured: Terror.

There can be only one.

After defeating the Robot Masters the player enters Wily's Castle and must defeat the Robot Masters again before finally facing off with the mad scientist. The world is at peace for all of five minutes before Wily breaks out of prison, builds another lair and constructs eight more evil robots. Taking this into consideration, Mega Man is best described as a vicious cycle akin to alcoholism.

The Baddies

One of Mega Man's more notable aspects are the boss battles. Each Robot Master has a stage catering to a specific theme that matches their general appearance and abilities and, much like a beautiful snowflake, no two killer machines are exactly alike. Some of these more creative entries into the Battle Bots arena include:

Wood Man

Man meets nature?

"The best robots are made of wood." This is a phrase that has never, ever been said out loud. Still, Wily dared to dream, crafting Wood Man from cyprus and arming him with the awesome power of leaves. Warriors of the future take note: wooden robots may be enviormentally sound but going green shouldn't be your primary concern when global domination is your eventual goal.

Proto Man

While not technically a Robot Master Proto Man occasionally plays the role of a villian. As the name would imply, he was originally Mega Man's prototype and considers him a brother. His hobbies include scarf collecting and playing blues harmonica on weekends.

Charge Man

All aboard!

After escaping prison for the third or forth time, Dr. Wily envisioned the world's first (and perhaps only) coal powered robot, Charge Man. If you suddenly find yourself questioning the merits of a coal powered robot, consider this: how does one man continuously break out of the same maximum security prison to build the robot in the first place?

Splash Woman

Tee-hee!

One of many under-sea Robot Masters, Splash Woman is only notable for being one of the few robots in the series to have boobs.