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bronyaur
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I fucking hate Shia Labeouf


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« on: November 05, 2009, 08:52 PM »
Out of shameless self promotion from someone who basically contributes nothing to these forums, here's a link to Dear Asshole: Super Special Hipster Edition. It's a comedy column where i write letters to people, things and trends that piss me off for an independent arts and news website based out of the Maritimes in Canada (that's the east coast). 

http://www.unfilteredsmoke.com/2009/11/dear-asshole-5/

And if anyone's interested, here are the previous editions:

http://www.unfilteredsmoke.com/2009/09/509/
http://www.unfilteredsmoke.com/2009/10/593/
http://www.unfilteredsmoke.com/2009/10/dearasshole3/
http://www.unfilteredsmoke.com/2009/10/dearasshole4/
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ihateyoukenny
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Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus


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« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2009, 10:02 PM »
This is possibly the most angry thing I have ever read ever. The depth of your hatred actually scared me. You might want to tone it down, or else people will be writing you "Dear Asshole" letters.

Also,
Quote from: Tom on November 05, 2009, 08:52 PM
You’re the whitest, most soulless, least original subculture ever created
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WaveLine
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An incandescent lightbulb of paranoia


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« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2009, 10:38 PM »
I have to agree...your articles are actually functionally accurate (fuck, I live in Williamsburg in Brooklyn, I know what a fucking hipster is) but they are way too angry to be actually funny. We all feel that way about these people, but expressing it in a unique, offbeat and humor-laden way would really make your topics better.

There is nothing funny about a guy saying "You know what, those hipsters are assholes. Now I'm right. I win. Go me." You have to go beyond that, throw in some better references, go just a little deeper. You have some solid concepts but your execution is just a bit too forward. Back off a bit and work on the comedy, not the hatred.

Also, fuck hipsters.
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StantheGarbageMan
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« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2009, 10:58 PM »
My advice is to tone down on the swear words. I know they're fun to say, but I've found that if you actually try and come up with an insult more clever or colorful than "fucker" or "bitch", it comes out sounding funnier. These are just way too angry to really enjoy.
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Sa9jev
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Extra more, just because.


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« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2009, 12:10 AM »
Actually, I thought it had just enough anger. Also:

Quote
Then, as so often happens, you’ll normalize, become middle aged and sit at home with your wife and kids, laughing at how ridiculous you looked in the olden days while drinking hyper-scotch and watching death row inmates attack each other with chainsaws on the holo-generator.

Awesome.
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Quote from: Staff on October 20, 2009, 07:01 AM
No sodomy?!?
Liquorish
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I've got less important things to do.


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« Reply #5 on: November 06, 2009, 06:52 AM »
I've only read the hipster one, but I thought that after a fairly slow start you'd worked up to a nice, angry finishing paragraph.

Do you use self-deprecation ever? One of the reasons I enjoy Charlie Brooker's stuff is that no matter how much he rails against the awfulness of everything, he also owns up to simply being a different kind of awful.
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bronyaur
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« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2009, 10:30 AM »
Thanks for the feedback, glad whoever liked it liked it. I'm not really looking for a critique though, just posting it for people to see.
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FlyingSquid
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Who needs donuts when you've got love?


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« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2009, 11:05 AM »
If you post something for people to see, they will critique it. Did you expect us all to either praise your brilliance or not comment?
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Kalli
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Solipsism, I suppose, is where you have to begin.


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« Reply #8 on: November 06, 2009, 01:03 PM »
If you're not looking for a critique, why'd you come back to this thread?  Proper behaviour for a blog whore is to post and move on.
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avatar by Nedroid
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« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2009, 02:24 PM »
Dear Asshole,
In this world people don't only have a positive response to things you do. 
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Sa9jev
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Extra more, just because.


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« Reply #10 on: November 06, 2009, 03:38 PM »
Quote from: Tom on November 06, 2009, 10:30 AM
Thanks for the feedback, glad whoever liked it liked it. I'm not really looking for a critique though, just posting it for people to see.
Dear person of somewhat questionable dickishness,

In light of your recent douche-y remarks, I hereby take back my compliments until such time as you stop being a jerk.

Yours in Christ,

Sa9jev
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Quote from: Staff on October 20, 2009, 07:01 AM
No sodomy?!?
Sa9jev
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Extra more, just because.


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« Reply #11 on: November 06, 2009, 03:48 PM »
Also, what did Hawkeye do to you to piss you off so much? Was it the fact that he didn't make it back in time to say goodbye?
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Quote from: Staff on October 20, 2009, 07:01 AM
No sodomy?!?
Jisaw
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An eye for an eye makes everyone blind.


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« Reply #12 on: November 06, 2009, 05:53 PM »
Quote
Nihilism isn’t a statement, it’s the religious equivalent of a chick fart—annoying and smelling of broccoli and old man.

Hey! I like Maddox too!
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FlyingSquid
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Who needs donuts when you've got love?


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« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2009, 06:30 PM »
Plagiarism, huh? Guess now we know why he didn't want criticism.
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Liquorish
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I've got less important things to do.


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« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2009, 07:25 PM »
Quote from: Liquorish on November 06, 2009, 06:52 AM
Do you use self-deprecation ever? One of the reasons I enjoy Charlie Brooker's stuff is that no matter how much he rails against the awfulness of everything, he also owns up to simply being a different kind of awful.

I guess I'll stick to Charlie Brooker then.
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