I split this off, so we can have a thread of complaints or whatever without clogging up the general "the book is out now woooo!" thread.

I had the option of using Sweet Child O' Mine again (the copyright issue just means you have to clear the rights, which costs money but not like millions of dollars) but I chose to leave it this way. We make such a joke of John's band and how ridiculous they are, it seems almost criminal to deprive him of the chance to finally put his songwriting skills to work with the universe on the line.

It's like showing the rifle on the mantle in the first act, then in the third have the character go buy a gun to shoot the villain. Having them do a cover song in that situation is kind of a rookie writing mistake.

Others disagree and I won't reply to them. I'm just explaining why we did it that way for aspiring writers out there who are curious about the editing process.

I had wondered if you'd have the opportunity to put back Sweet Child 'O Mine, now that it was being put out by a big publisher.  I hadn't really thought of that before.  Makes sense to me.

It doesn't change the fact that when I read that passage I always think of Sweet Child 'O Mine and when I hear the song, I always think of that passage.

Something I was wondering: From the original version, is "if my hair's too long" John playing off of the line "If I stare too long"?  It comes to mind every time I hear the song.  Sorry if that's an obscure reference, (I can't remember if that line made it into Camel Holocaust.)

I chuckled when I read that :)

One passage I really liked that I don't remember seeing before:


I love that.  I hope that's new, because if it turns out it's in an old edition, I'm gonna feel dumb.

That Wexler sequence gets shortened a bit with each revision. Hell, I think in the original they actually blew up Korrok with a rocket launcher at the end. I personally really liked the change with Dave ordering the bratwursts: instead of going inside and eating them as a fuck you to the forces changing the poster, he does it at the end, staring at Ronald the whole time.

As for the earlier bits with Korrok, I thought they were great. My main problem with JDATE has always been that it is three stories linked together, not quite so much a novel. But those little changes, that early view of the blue eye, it made the whole thing feel more cohesive. Also that scene is just super creepy and great.

Someone mentioned it, but I love how Big Jim has become more and more prominent with each edition. Just little lines here and there to more firmly establish him as having a role in the shenanigans was nice, and the excerpt from his novel is hilarious yet creepy, since dude apparently had an inkling about Korrok and the temple of X'al'naa''thuthuthu and the monster people coming from Shit Narnia.

The only thing I was remiss to see go was the whole "Johnny Strums Two-Cues" bit. I always loved the way the cops and Wong are talking about the dog and the body, and John just launches into this retarded discourse.

I did like that with Big Jim as well, especially the part when the wigmonsters appear and he turns to Marconi and says "He's making his move, isn't he?" or something like that, and the short thing after they first go into Amy's basement where Dave mentions that maybe if they'd looked through his stuff, they'd have found all the answers right there. It's like this is supposed to be his story, but he gets usurped by Dave. Especially with the little bit of Dave looking down just after he dies and saying it looks like his throat was opened up by a shotgun, instead of just the remembrance of it while running away from the shadow people in the truck.

Little hints like that towards his sociopathy, in particular after he blows Fred's head off, and John gives him the look that says "you are what you are and that's it" make the change from original Dave to Monster Dave that much more striking. I didn't notice until second read through that the italicized text of his darker urges towards violence more or less disappear after the switch. The only other edition I've read is the Permuted Press one, and the only really clear part of him doing something "bad" was against Hitchcock. However, with what it's implied the guy did to Dave, I though that was pretty justified as temporary insanity in that version.

I haven't got my copy yet so I'm not sure exactly what's been left in or out, but I think you might be thinking of the intro to the sequel which is still online.

So, the changes from the permuted press version is significant enough to warrant a read through, for sure? I'm buying the new version, but I've also just finished reading my permuted press copy again, and if I back to back it with the new version, that's a hell of a lot of retarded horror to truck through, so I just want to make sure.

I don't know if you're willing to comment on this or not Dave, but how many of the changes were part of the editing process and how many were you just taking another chance to make some improvements on your own.