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Author Topic: Snaiad, aka a daytrip to planet Freud  (Read 1174 times)
Verminator
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« on: June 29, 2009, 04:55 PM »
Some guy made his own fictional planet. It's like that Alien Planet documentary that was on the Discovery channel a few years ago. If you like science and shit, this is for you. A word of warning, the creatures that live there have dicks that look like heads and heads that look like dicks, if I'm understanding it right, which I don't think I am. Make sure to read the page on Snaiad physiology or you'll be completely lost.

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Daku
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« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2009, 06:28 PM »
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Species: Phobochelys molestor
Common Name: Rape Turtle.
Size: 2 meters long, usually less.
Habitat: The island of Mapag.
Rape. Turtle.

Awesome.
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Gman
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« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2009, 08:48 PM »
http://www.nemoramjet.com/sndcladesfututoriformes.html
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every Snaiadi local knows them by their true name: to them, these animals are Fuckers. The sight of a Fucker's weapon is enough to warrant its name. Connected directly to the pelvis, this is a knife-like structure that, when wielded by the hydraulic muscles on the animal's back, can inflict tremendous damage. The absence of genitalia or other vitally important organs in the pelvic region of Snaiad “vertebrates” has freed up this area for further evolutionary development and “humping” predatory habits or pelvic spikes ...



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When the attack comes, victims of F. ventrophilus are quickly overpowered and wrestled to the ground before being disemboweled by a quick thrust of its scimitar-like, elongated killing spike.


This person has ... issues.

Also:
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They usually tackle moderate-sized prey and avoid well-armored and/or gigantic herbivores to avoid damaging their specialized weaponry.

I'm calling my dong 'specialized weaponry' from now on. That, or 'Killing Spike'.
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Quote from: Disco Stu on June 13, 2009, 08:16 PM
Also, it's a blatant picture of a giant dongfist and a pair of hairy balls.
sickandtired
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« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2009, 11:14 PM »


This Fuckers "Killing Spike" isn't nearly as big as that other fuckers. It has specialized weaponry envy no doubt. It does have a prettier leaf-like-dong-chest-protrusion though.
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Nktalloth
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« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2009, 02:44 AM »
Well, this is all quite odd, but certainly well-done in my opinion.  I like how there's kind of a consistent theme for all life on the planet, you see repeating designs adapted for different environments, the way a lot of real animals have- say- four legs, or stereo-linked eyes, or muzzles.  Yeah, the Fuckers kinda caught me off guard, but honestly, it makes sense considering it's supposed to be the common name given by human settlers.  I sure can't think of a better way to describe a creature that kills with a giant dong-spike.
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« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2009, 03:56 AM »
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The Megafag is the largest of all Emmiformes, almost three times larger and ten times heavier than its nearest competitor in size and mass.

As I was reading through the site, I thought the creator had done a pretty good job of making up a whole world, and there was a lot of serious effort involved. But the rape-turtle, the fuckers and the megafag just make me laugh at the whole thing a bit.
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vampire-cervix
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« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2009, 02:44 PM »
These were by far the most disturbing:
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Heft
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« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2009, 06:33 PM »
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Are those penises growing out of their chests or necks?
Nope. Large "vertebrates" on Snaiad have evolved a two-head system: The first head actually shelters the genitals and the womb and hosts the sense organs. The "jaws" on these head have evolved from genital coverings on early "vertebrate" ancestors. These fake jaws are sometimes used for hunting or food gathering, but they are never used to actually swallow food. This function is taken care of the second head that grows from the "vertebrates'" chests. This is what you have mistaken for a penis. Look here for a better explanation.

The "here" links to this page: http://www.nemoramjet.com/sndanatomy.html Which is too long for me to read all of or quote, but does explain how the "first head" evolved out of a genital sheath and is the vehicle for reproduction in addition to being "fearsome hunting instruments." Planet Freud indeed.
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Itrade
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« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2009, 06:42 PM »
Let us pray that the furries never find this.
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Nktalloth
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« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2009, 08:05 PM »
Okay, I just sort of half-imagined an anthropomorphised Fucker about a half hour ago, and I just woke up weeping uncontrollably and covered in blood.
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GraySeanatomy
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« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2009, 08:11 PM »
So like, this is pretty neat and impressive and fascinating (I've always wondered what life on other planets would be like, what the creatures would have in common with Earthling physiology, what would be different, etc.) but I can't help but suspect that the creator of this stuff, as intelligent and creative as he is, still kind of jacks off to it. Can anyone confirm or deny this?
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