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ominousoat
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« on: June 19, 2009, 09:59 AM »
11 Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees

Verified by Snopes here.

"4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job."
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Danny G
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« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2009, 10:05 AM »
Quote from: www.super-solutions.com
3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

Our company's hiring habits are starting to make a lot more sense to me.
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« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2009, 10:21 AM »
I wish I'd found this before I hired the unmarried, nubile, underweight, flirtatious 21 year old to work in the warehouse.  It wouldn't be so bad, but all I have for uniforms are size 0 mini-skirts and string bikini tops.  It's just a matter of time before I have to fire her for being inept.

Quote from: Danny G on June 19, 2009, 10:05 AM
Quote from: www.super-solutions.com
3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

Our company's hiring habits are starting to make a lot more sense to me.

It explains why they hired you . . .
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Quote from: Ominous Oat on May 21, 2009, 11:46 AM
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Danny G
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« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2009, 10:25 AM »
Precisely.  I wasn't saying that I wasn't grateful, or anything.
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« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2009, 10:37 AM »
See and you always complain about the fatties you work with, looks like you have some apologizing to do mister.
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« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2009, 10:40 AM »
Quote from: www.super-solutions.com
3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient* than their underweight sisters.

So if I gain some more weight I will become more even tempered and efficient?  I can't wait to tell my anger-management course instructor that he's been on the wrong track all this time!


*  efficient I can understand, because we're less likely to have boyfriends and thoughts of same distracting us from our tasks.  But even-tempered I dispute, because we're less likely to have boyfriends and thoughts of same distracting us from our tasks.
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« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2009, 12:19 PM »
Could this also be read as 11 tips to finding a good girlfriend?
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Tanfoo
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« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2009, 12:43 PM »
This article makes women sound like a bunch of bipolar chimpanzees that we have to keep around to do busy work for us.
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« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2009, 12:55 PM »
Quote from: www.super-solutions.com
3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

It sounds a lot better when you say "Fat bottom girls you make the rockin' world go round."
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« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2009, 01:09 PM »
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5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

I like to imagine that they did this by pulling the woman in question away from her work for twelve-minute lectures on the importance of not wasting time.
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« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2009, 01:41 PM »
Quote from: Nktalloth on June 19, 2009, 01:09 PM
I like to imagine that they did this by pulling the woman in question away from her work for twelve-minute lectures on the importance of not wasting time.

Unfortunatly, that tactic seems to alive and well today.
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Quote from: Ominous Oat on May 21, 2009, 11:46 AM
Goddammit Holy, STOP EATING THE SOPAPILLAS!
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« Reply #11 on: June 19, 2009, 01:46 PM »
Some of them actually make a slight amount of sense given that it's many of these women's first time in the workforce from previously being housewives, and they don't have any work experience at all.  But yeah, mostly horrifying.

I notice they completely failed to mention rewarding performance with chocolate, though, a glaring omission.
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« Reply #12 on: June 19, 2009, 02:11 PM »
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9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

Yeah, so make sure you only ridicule the male employees, especially the ones you suspect of having gay. That'll weed them out of the work place and leave only the rugged men and the delicate flowers.
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