The counterpart to the above would be "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey".  My understanding is that this refers to stacked artillery ordnance (i.e, cannonballs), and not the literal genitalia of some manner of metallic primate.


Here's one I've read, but never heard aloud:  "Lit a shuck".  Used to indicate that somebody has left.  "George isn't here; he lit a shuck."  Also to say that a person has left for a particular destination:  "George lit a shuck for home."  It was explained in the book I read this in that the saying originated in Texas with the practice of lighting corn husks, or "shucks", as makeshift torches for travel after dark.

"If I owned Hell and _____, I'd rent out _____ and live in Hell."  Don't recall where I heard this.  Used to indicate disdain for a particular locale.  An example of usage, "If I owned Hell and Chicago, I'd rent out Chicago and live in Hell."  No offense, Chicagoans.

Also:
"Jumpin' Jehosaphat!"
"What in Tarnation?"
"Katie bar the door"  (I've used this one.  I don't know why.)
"Full of piss and vinegar."

I've also heard of headbutting someone being called a "Liverpool Kiss".  And Boxing = Fisticuffs and/or Pugilism.

Speaking of witch's tits and brass monkeys being cold, I always heard "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra."

My personal favorite, however, is "Dasn't." My grandmother used it frequently, so one day I looked it up--the dictionary informed me that it is in fact a contraction of "Dare not."

"You can't pay the bills with chocolate chip cookies". Still rings true to this day.

Fancier than a cat's knickerbockers in May.

Okay, I made that one up.

But here's a real one - 'windy enough to blow a brown dog off a chain'. My dad says it. It means it's really windy. I've always liked how the dog is specified as being brown, not just any old coloured dog.

I've heard a variation of this one: "queerer than a two-peckered goat."  There's a clear double meaning there.  I probably didn't have to point that out, given the site I'm on.

I've also heard "happier than a puppy with two peckers."  I think that one just might be self-explanatory.

My gran always used to break out 'the dickens' for when explaining pretty much anything - Run like the dickens, we'll have the dickens of a time, Charles Dickens is the dickens, that sort of thing.  I was so delighted when I first saw Onstad use it in Achewood.  She also used rhubarb for an argument or a quarrel.


I use these words.  Never realised they were old time slang.

"Punky" for feeling sick is old timey.

when someones whining about something "Tough titty said the kitty when the milk went dry."

...oh yeah my sweet little grammy used to say "wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up first"
also "if wishes were horses we'd all have rides"

quiet as a church mouse - I guess church mice are really quiet, unlike field mice, who are always making a racket.

Bob's your uncle - My dad says this.   The meaning depends on the context but he uses it most frequently as a toast. In that case, it means "Bottoms up!" I think there's a thread about this somewhere but I can't find it.

Holy rip snorting Hell, dumb as a stump and dull as a doorknob- More of my father's favorites. "Holy rip snorting Hell, that man is dumb as a stump and dull as a doorknob." combines them all nicely in once sentence and was once used to describe Jimmy Carter.

You're darn tootin' or just darn tootin' - means "You're damn right" or "damn right."

whistling Dixie - originally meant "unrealistically rosy fantasizing" but is also used to mean "exaggerating" or "kidding."

Mine used to tell me my daddy wasn't a glassmaker.