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Author Topic: Soldier of Choice 2: The Search For More Money  (Read 23620 times)
Quagmar
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« on: July 25, 2008, 08:55 AM »
In fabulous 2-D, the sequel to the greatest bullshit battle you've ever seen in the last 2 months is here, and it is now!

The first tournament.

Here are the long-awaited matchups for the new party!

LYNEL DIVISION
Ripper:  Brock Samson plus Bonus Venture Clan vs Behemoleviathan:  Five Frank Zappas
Dust Buster: 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Regiment vs Bingo Fent:  Homos in Camos
Jayelem: Blind Quadriplegic Pacifists vs Scruff: Goddamn Batmen
Nyklas: 4000 feet of robotic men wielding ice guns and mallets vs Nedroid: THE Joycube

STALFOS DIVISION
thewayoutisthrough: Jedi Kittens w/ lightsabers and DragonForce vs Wicket: 9 RhinoBears with 9 Ring Wraith pilots
Pants: Dirty Smelly Hippies vs Illiterati: Tunneling Viet Cong
Wreh: Screaming Hogwarts Men vs Dan: Fatty Fat Unicron
HyperGlavin:  Goatling Gunners vs PimpJuice:  Ninja elephant something or others plus an obese Michael Jackson

TEKTITE DIVISION
A Frayed Knot: Warhammer Tyranids vs Homunculus: Zerg Swarm
Verminator: Sgt. Stegosaurus and his Dino Minions V2.0 vs Tunneling Explodebear:  Four Elemental Bears of the Bearpocalypse
Surgemix:  Halo Squad with Dinosaur Assistance vs Anatomica:  Peter Weller squad
BigBill: Thor and Freyr vs The Iron Colonel: Elder Gods

BIRI DIVISION
LoveRhino:  Japanese Movie Monsters vs Snow Job: Bible Heroes
Squirly: Fremen Worm Riders vs Nokomis Beats:  FFXII Espers
Parcae: Starcraft Dark Archons vs codespyder: Asskicking Film and TV Spies
ulyssesdraco:  SWAT Kats vs ArsonTheMusical:  Necrontyr Army


PREPARE YOUR ARMIES!  YOU FIGHT FOR HONOR AND GLORY AND OTHER INSPIRING WORDS!  BUT WE SPENT THE NEW PRIZE BUDGET ON BEER FOR THE WRAP PARTY OF THE LAST TOURNAMENT, SO STILL NO MONEY!

First up:

RIPPER versus BEHEMOLEVIATHAN
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« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2008, 10:21 AM »


Hello again, fight fans! Last series was a thrillfest, and this one has just as much potential! Without further ado, let's take a look at todays fight:



This promises to be an extra special first round. General Ripper is going for the route of a solo supersoldier in Brock Samson, backed up by the Venture clan. While individual soldiers weren't particularly successful in the last competition, it is no secret that Mister Samson is up to any challenge. On the other side of the fence, Behemoleviathan deploys musician Frank Zappa, multiplied by five. He'll be able to launch a crippling aural assault using all five voices at once. Clone armies also met sticky ends last time, but so long as Behemoleviathan keeps his singing superstars organised, he can do some major damage.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2008, 07:48 PM by HyperGlavin » Logged
The Iron Colonel
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« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2008, 11:01 AM »
Tektite is stacked with some serious grudge matches. 'Nids vs Zerg, Obscene Elder Gods vs Pagan Deities, Peter Weller vs Dinosaurs...man, this one is going to be bloody.

Also, are the brackets raping anyone else's margins? They're a bit too wide for my layout.
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« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2008, 11:20 AM »
ALRIGHT! FIRST OUT THE GATE! LET'S DO THIS SHIT! I AM SO FUCKING PSYC-


Oh dear Lord, I've drawn the Joycube division. Oh no.


Uh, I mean, BRING IT!
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« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2008, 11:21 AM »
OK men, here goes ;

Let's


tear


them


to


SHREDS !!!


We shall attack with Unmitigated Audacity !
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« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2008, 12:39 PM »
Sorry, I'll try to cut down on the next one. It's difficult to get it to fit into the screen and have everything visible.
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« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2008, 12:47 PM »
Gentlemen: Three manly reasons why I should, and will, win this contest.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Good. Night.
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« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2008, 01:07 PM »
I just have one thing to say before this gets underway:



Anyone want pie?
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« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2008, 01:11 PM »
Come off it Nedroid. We all know that "pie" and "hugs" is Cubespeak for "Explosives" and "Backstabbing". I've got my eye on you!
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« Reply #9 on: July 25, 2008, 01:12 PM »
Actually, if you look closely at the image, you can see a literal pie.
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ArsonTheMusical
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« Reply #10 on: July 25, 2008, 01:13 PM »
Some kind of insidious death-pie, no doubt.

We're on to you.
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If someone had asked me if I ever thought I'd see a 1930s film about date rape involving dogs I'd probably say no.
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« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2008, 01:14 PM »
I think it's cherry.
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« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2008, 01:14 PM »
Death-cherry?
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Quote from: Staff on April 24, 2009, 09:09 PM
If someone had asked me if I ever thought I'd see a 1930s film about date rape involving dogs I'd probably say no.
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« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2008, 01:16 PM »
"Cherry" is Cubespeak for "Nitroglycerine."

You don't fool me, bub.
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« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2008, 01:23 PM »
There's no such thing as Cubespeak.  He is very clearly speaking English.
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« Reply #15 on: July 25, 2008, 01:27 PM »
Death-English?
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« Reply #16 on: July 25, 2008, 01:28 PM »
Or he (it?) is psychic and he is altering our perceptions to  make it look like he's speaking (Death)English...the tricky bastard!
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« Reply #17 on: July 25, 2008, 02:18 PM »
From the Mighty land of Asgard comes Thor and Freyr ready to smite the masses!

Enemies beware, Thor's lightning shall strike you down while Freyr unleashes crippling impotence on your men folk.


Also, I realise neither Freyr nor Thor rode clouds, but given the situation I thought they might be up for trying.

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« Reply #18 on: July 25, 2008, 02:20 PM »
I think that the Joycube is demonstrating that it needs nothing but an ordinary pie to kill a man.
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« Reply #19 on: July 25, 2008, 02:46 PM »
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As far as it goes, for as long as it lasts.
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