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Author Topic: "Worst Movie Ever" (Actually Turned Into Just "Movies You Didn't Like Much")  (Read 21104 times)
Cock Burger
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« Reply #160 on: July 25, 2008, 03:49 PM »

Oh god. I will never be the same after watching Son of the Mask.

That movie was terrible.

Infact it was so bad, it looked like it was made by a person who had no hands, and wore a helmet with bee's inside of it.
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« Reply #161 on: July 25, 2008, 04:52 PM »

Sleepaway camp.....1983 movie. By far the worst movie. Ever.
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Crackers
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« Reply #162 on: July 26, 2008, 04:46 AM »

There are the movies which I know I'll hate but will still watch- Napoleon Dynamite, Borat etc. They get so much attention from people who then insist on putting on really bad imitations of the voices for months on end, which makes me despise the movie before I even see it. Then for some stupid reason I watch it, hate it, hate the person who made me watch it, then kick a puppy.

Also, Mama Mia. ABBA, yeah they're ok if you're drunk at home on a Friday night with friends/your mother. But made into a movie. A MUSICAL. Dammit, I was pissed I went.

That one with Paris Hilton in it. Not the scary one, the other one. It was so bad I can't even remember its name...maybe because I couldn't bring myself to watch it to the ending.

Actually...there are lots of movies I really don't like. These are just the ones that stuck in my mind.
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Kicsi Viz
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« Reply #163 on: July 26, 2008, 09:24 AM »

Also, Mama Mia. ABBA, yeah they're ok if you're drunk at home on a Friday night with friends/your mother. But made into a movie. A MUSICAL. Dammit, I was pissed I went.

Hey man, don't blame ABBA for that steaming pile of bad movie.  They made some of the best-written, best-arranged, best-produced, and best-performed music of their era, and their best songs still hold up.

The movie Mamma Mia does suck though.

That one with Paris Hilton in it. Not the scary one, the other one. It was so bad I can't even remember its name...maybe because I couldn't bring myself to watch it to the ending.

Paris Hilton has been in TWO movies?!?!?!?
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Cock Burger
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« Reply #164 on: July 27, 2008, 08:27 PM »

Crackers I think you're looking for the movie "The Hotie and the Notie".

Not that I actually watched it.

I was just one of the people that was hired to throw any evidence of the movie into an active volcano, and before I threw one, I saw the title of it.

Oh the horror.
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« Reply #165 on: July 28, 2008, 12:50 AM »

Quote
"The Hotie and the Notie".

t

t

I think you dropped these.
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Cock Burger
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« Reply #166 on: July 28, 2008, 01:00 AM »

Thanks, they just fell out of my pocket.

I hate T's, you just can't keep track of them.
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« Reply #167 on: July 28, 2008, 01:10 AM »

I always seem to be in the minority about it, but I really, really hate Me and You and Everyone We Know.  A lot.
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« Reply #168 on: July 28, 2008, 01:55 AM »

I... I didn't think that was possible.  It's such a sweet, romantic, harmless little movie about self-expression. That's like hating, I dunno, kittens playing with Christmas lights.
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« Reply #169 on: July 28, 2008, 04:41 PM »

Open Water

Every time someone starts a thread like this, you can count on this happening.   Someone names a movie that is most certainly not among the worst movies ever. 

Yes, taste is subjective, but putting Open Water in the same thread as Manos: The Hands of Fate is just deliberately retarded.

It was an independent film, self financed by a director who was holding down a day job for $130,000.  They used only real sharks, which even big budget flicks like Jaws and Deep Blue Sea didn't have the balls to do.  It's a phenomenal achievement in film making, and even if you didn't care for it, it doesn't belong in this thread.
on the contrary to your statement I would have to fully disagree, this movie was the WORST MOVIE EVER MADE!

sorry unlike you I view the movie as is! Financial status of direct/producer does not make a difference!

this movie was a prolonged short film, this hunk of crap was not worth the 9.50 I spent to see it in theater! I walked into the movie theater looking at a crowd of 25-35 people in the theater. By the 30 min. mark I was bored and look around half were gone by the 1hr mark I heard crickets! my family were the only living things in the theater, my dad was asleep and my brother was agitating my mother to leave. We should have left at the 20 minute mark since basically that was the whole movie but no being the movie goers we are we stayed to the end. Boy did we regret doing that!

I've seen bad movies "The Hottie and the Nottie" "Napoleon Dynamite" "Gummo" this movie was still worst by far

your argument about, "he did the best of what he had" considering he had a considerable amount of money to make an Independent film it was still hogwash. 

You want to see a good movie on a considerable low budget watch "Clerks" and "Pi" though clerks can be written off as filthy comedy it was still a good use of money considering they got decent reviews and good pay. Pi was a thrilling movie that played off of how low budget it was, even though it has been seen by few this was definitely a movie worth paying 9.50 to see in the theaters.(though it was never released in theaters or was in few if any)

Phenomenal achievements are thing we see a lot of after the release, considering this was "Blair Witch Project" at sea that makes this the most under achieving movies of all time.

Movies that had Achievements
Star Wars (do I have to explain)
Cloverfield (A good use of First person view)
Lord of the Rings (A movie that makes "walking" interesting :P j/k it was just enjoyable)
Matrix (You can't prove we live in the matrix and you can't prove we don't this alone puts the matrix as a massive movie achievement, it is almost like its own religion)
Jackie Chan Movies (same as star wars)
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Oregano Angercock
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« Reply #170 on: July 28, 2008, 07:28 PM »

Your use of caps lock and exclamation points is an intriguing debate tactic.  Are there message boards somewhere that consider that an adequate substitute for actually having a point?

Or was the rambling mess of tenuously connected gibberish that followed meant to be your argument?  I didn't think it was even possible to write a run on sentence that is also a sentence fragment, but you achieved it several times in one post. 

Then you finished up with list of completely unrelated films, with no indication as to why you would think they were important to the discussion.  Would you please express a coherent thought so I go about telling you how the things you like are stupid, and you are wrong about everything?
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Fortey
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« Reply #171 on: July 28, 2008, 07:51 PM »


Jackie Chan Movies (same as star wars)


Is there a world in which that statement makes even a lick of sense?
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« Reply #172 on: July 28, 2008, 08:05 PM »

Also, Mama Mia. ABBA, yeah they're ok if you're drunk at home on a Friday night with friends/your mother. But made into a movie. A MUSICAL. Dammit, I was pissed I went.

Hey man, don't blame ABBA for that steaming pile of bad movie.  They made some of the best-written, best-arranged, best-produced, and best-performed music of their era, and their best songs still hold up.

The movie Mamma Mia does suck though.

Agreed.  I thought I might really like this movie, as I have much ABBA love.  It was an eyeroller all the way through.

I give my vote for the worst as Epic Movie.  Still the only movie I have ever walked out of.  I almost said Irreversible but I suppose that is only because I worked at Landmark and saw it too many f-ing times.  The bitterness over the job permeates my opinion of the film's quality.
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« Reply #173 on: July 28, 2008, 08:19 PM »


Jackie Chan Movies (same as star wars)


Is there a world in which that statement makes even a lick of sense?

I'll add that Cloverfield was not that good either.  The 45 minute set up and then frantic running around while filming...It had it's moments, but I saw it as a failure.  Your friends are being eaten and you are filming it becuase people will want to know how it all went down? 
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Ronsonic
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« Reply #174 on: August 01, 2008, 10:50 PM »


Jackie Chan Movies (same as star wars)


Is there a world in which that statement makes even a lick of sense?

Yes, both are obviously great accomplishments in movie making.
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Kicsi Viz
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« Reply #175 on: August 02, 2008, 08:23 AM »

Jackie Chan Movies (same as star wars)
Is there a world in which that statement makes even a lick of sense?
Yes, both are obviously great accomplishments in movie making.

OK, is there a world in which that statement makes a lick of sense?
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« Reply #176 on: August 03, 2008, 08:23 AM »

Babe 2

The first movie was harmless and cute. Like a fool, I took my two younger sibs to see the sequel expecting more of the same, but no, the director decided he needed to make an arthouse film for 8 year olds. How do I hate thee, oh let me count the ways . . .

The movie begins with Babe killing the farmer, or at least, it seemed like he was dead. Nope, just horribly injured! The cinematography was so dark and dank I could almost smell the feces that surely coated the sets. The script was confusing and bleak. The two human protagonists were a drunken, elderly clown and a creepy woman who had a house full of animals - you know, like those people they're always busting on Animal Precinct? No one seemed to realized that when you dress chimps up in clothes and crudely animate their lips to sync to human voices they no longer as chimps, they just look like incredibly hideous, hairy dwarves who can't act. Not to mention it's a little sickening to see apes tormented into 'acting' in movies, considering how in the wild they're rapidly going extinct.

And then we come to the scene that sums up the whole mess perfectly. There's this little dog that's deaf, blind in one eyes and in one of those doggie wheelchairs. He's hit by a car - and the director makes sure to show all the kids in the audience his little handicapped body rolling over and over across the cold pavement - and goes to heaven, where he bounces around, free of the wheelchair, chasing butterflies. Okay, we just saw a dog killed but at least he's in heaven and happy now, right? No, he comes back to life. So is it supposed to be HAPPY because he's alive, or SAD because now he's still blind, deaf, and paralyzed (not to mention the internal injuries he must have suffered)?

Fuck it, the movie just sucks crusty donkey balls.
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Malchus
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« Reply #177 on: August 03, 2008, 02:08 PM »

Don't say I didn't warn you:

The Star Wars Holiday Special.

However, I must go with the 'worst movies ever made' title.  There are a lot of movies that are bad, and a lot that I don't like, but that's not very interesting.  True turd pies of a movie are hard to come by, so I present the TIE for worst...movie...ever.

Feeders 2: Slay Bells
In fact, anything done by John Polonia is a piece of crap, but this is the worst.  I mean, the original Feeders was about paper mache aliens attacking people with the power of gravity and strings (made in 1996, BTW) and are about as scary as a bowl of cold oatmeal.  Oh, and at the end, the world blows up.  So, in Feeders 2, it happens at Christmas, and at the end, Santa goes kill-happy with his Christmas ray-gun and blows those things to hell.  I probably could make this up if I tried, but why would I want to?

The other one is Nukie.  I have no link for that.  It's a ripoff of Mac and Me, which is a ripoff of E.T.  It's horrible.  It's vile.  I have no idea what it's even about, except aliens, and I don't care if you have AIDS, caused the apocalypse, and lost everyone you ever cared about on the same day, you have no right to complain about anything because you haven't seen Nukie.
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« Reply #178 on: August 03, 2008, 06:57 PM »

I'm afraid I'm going to have to bring this list to a close.  I now present you with the number 1 worst movie of all time...



I guarantee that you will want to gouge out your eyes and ears with hot pokers about 15 minutes in. 

If you can find a movie that is worse than this...I'll be wrong.  I suppose it's been done before.
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« Reply #179 on: August 04, 2008, 09:48 PM »

I'll add that Cloverfield was not that good either.  The 45 minute set up and then frantic running around while filming...It had it's moments, but I saw it as a failure.  Your friends are being eaten and you are filming it becuase people will want to know how it all went down? 

Not to mention the guy drags his friends and brother all over Manhatten just to save his ex-girlfriend, delibratly putting them at risk again and again, and ultimatly getting them all killed.

And when he finally finds his girlfriend, she has been impaled by a fucking piece of rebar, yet after they free her she seems to treat the injury as if she had just gotten a papercut.
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