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Author Topic: Pick-up lines.  (Read 35877 times)
mmkorn22
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« Reply #180 on: July 10, 2008, 07:36 AM »
I got this one last week at a grocery store:

Guy: Hi
Me: Hello
Guy: I love your skin color.
Me: ... thanks
Guy:  Our children would have beautiful skin.  And they'd be tall like you.  I really want tall kids one day.
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Quote from: Bishopwhitet on June 25, 2009, 06:33 PM
I will never forget the performance where he unveiled the moonwalk. It was like he had just whipped out the first loaf of bread ever sliced.
ElSickBoy
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DONT LOOK AT MY RINGPIECE!


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« Reply #181 on: July 10, 2008, 09:55 AM »
"Oh sweet look a coin!"

*Uppercut*


Hey presto.


PS. Make sure you dont faggot out, dont want them waking up half way through.

Awwwwwkward
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jerewhit
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« Reply #182 on: July 10, 2008, 03:49 PM »
This one never fails:

"Hey baby, can I see you naked?"

If she says "no" your response is

"Damn, I'll never get rid of these hiccups."
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LucyFerr
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« Reply #183 on: July 10, 2008, 03:57 PM »
Walking along the boardwalk with my friend I got this gem

Guy: Please don't blow up the board walk
Me: Umm...ok. I wont' then
Guy: It;s like my home. Don't blow it up
Me: Why?
Guy: Well I thought you were a terrorist cuz you're the bomb

He proceed to follow us while we giggled away and then tried to invite us to a party to smoke and get drunk. Oh the quality males you find at the jersey shore
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Bookkat
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« Reply #184 on: July 15, 2008, 04:57 PM »
This happened while I was mopping the floor at work.
Guy: Hey, can I have your number?
Me: Err...what?
Guy: Can I have your number?
Me: Why?
Guy: I like the way you mop. I was thinking you could mop the floors of my house and we could go out sometime?
I walked away...it took all of the self restraint I had not to throw the mop water on him.
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freedom-fries
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"Life, death, sex; what else is there? A beer maybe." - Dave Mustaine


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« Reply #185 on: July 15, 2008, 05:33 PM »
I heard this a few weeks ago by a fellow student.

"Hi there, what's your name? ... Uh, I see. I never met any nice [girl's name]."
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Haggle
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« Reply #186 on: July 16, 2008, 10:20 AM »
Have you got a raison? How about a date?

I aint Fred Flinstone but i can make your bed rock

Your like a spanner every-time i look at you my nuts tighten
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Jayelem
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Now taking suggestions for my new tagline. First one I receive will be used until I get bored of it.


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« Reply #187 on: July 16, 2008, 10:59 AM »
You ever seen a 300lb penguin?

Me neither, but it breaks the ice.

Terrible gag + mental image of obese penguin = hearty chuckling. Hearty indeed.
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nemesis
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Hammer pants.


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« Reply #188 on: July 16, 2008, 03:06 PM »
Sex or death?  You choose or I flip a coin.
Wait a minute, this is crazy.  You flip the coin.
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daniannel
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Knitting is hot!


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« Reply #189 on: July 16, 2008, 03:44 PM »
As a lady, introducing a gentleman to the passion that awaits him takes finesse. The most sophisticated method is the yawn & stretch followed by the phrase (most eloquently phrased by the love-master Butthead himself), "You seem nervous, maybe you should take off your pants."

Works everytime.
Guys are sooooo easy.
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Quote from: The Iron Colonel on November 14, 2008, 10:15 PM
You're obviously a fagosexual communist who hates guns and kills babies.
fatalist11235
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« Reply #190 on: July 16, 2008, 03:48 PM »
This was the best thign i ever heard, its a pickup line that has been over used but the answer was pricelss.

Generic Guy - "Hey, can i ask you something? How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
My friend Emily - "Unfertilized"
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Niff_Stipples
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You have 207 bones in you. Do you want another one?


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« Reply #191 on: July 16, 2008, 10:13 PM »
What about my quote under my gorgeous kitten picture. Also.... "The word of the day is legs, Do you want to come to my house a spread the word?". Gets them everytime.
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FishBulb
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People so often fail to see the logic behind a mass genocide.


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« Reply #192 on: July 31, 2008, 11:19 AM »
Yo! "Niff_Stipples", why don't you come to my place and we can "shake a tower" than "lake move" all "light nong".
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shannonkov
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« Reply #193 on: July 31, 2008, 12:12 PM »
I was walking with my family in Las Vegas last vacation and I got "high five to the sexy redhead"

Anyways, it was awkward because I was walking with my Dad.
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SecretSquirrel
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What the hell is that?!


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« Reply #194 on: July 31, 2008, 12:51 PM »
On a friends webpage once I posted the ever so ambiguiuos, "There's more than one way to share a Starburst."  For months I had to put up with people I hardly knew coming up and asking me with hubba hubba eyebrows:  To tell them all the ways I "share my Starbursts".  Even my friend called to ask me if I was hinting I wanted to get it on.... 
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SecretSquirrel
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What the hell is that?!


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« Reply #195 on: July 31, 2008, 12:56 PM »
Quote from: SecretSquirrel on July 31, 2008, 12:51 PM
ever so ambiguous,

Note to self... Spell check only works if you hit the button before you post.
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Jorreborre
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Where are my hands?


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« Reply #196 on: July 31, 2008, 01:29 PM »
Well, FUCK ME BITCH, you look good!
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Jorreborre
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Where are my hands?


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« Reply #197 on: July 31, 2008, 06:03 PM »
Quote from: Jorreborre on July 31, 2008, 01:29 PM
Well, FUCK ME BITCH, you look good! (makes fucking gestures with hips)
Sorry.

On the bright side, this actually works.
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rosie
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Personality is great.....So is soap! You should try some....really


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« Reply #198 on: August 01, 2008, 04:32 PM »
A guy came up to me with a group of friends tailing him. He starts the conversation:

Guy: Do I know you from somewhere?
Me: I don't know. You look pretty familiar.
Guy who is now shocked: Yeah! It must have been that party!
Me: Oh that's right! I remember you! You were telling me all about that party! But no, I wasn't there
Guy: who is now confused: Oh...Where did we meet again?
Me: I am the receptionist at that VD clinic in San Diego! Remember?

Guy gets mad, calls me vulgar names, and walks away in shame with a crowd of laughing friends....job well done.

Another guy asked me my name. I told him, "Unavailable."

I am only 5 foot nothing. I pick up guys by asking them to reach something for me. Then after they get me what I was asking for, I ask them again to reach something else for me. When they realize I keep asking for their help, they ask me  why.  I tell them I like their form and it's sexy watching them with a cute little smile. Works like a charm.
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WhateversClever
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I didn't know people could be famous for being retarded..


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« Reply #199 on: August 01, 2008, 05:09 PM »
'HEY BITCH YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL'
"what? WHY?"
'cuz you stole my heart'
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