"Shame on you News Skim along with the rest of the mainstream media, for continuing to only report the bad news coming out of Iraq (Re: Fucking Iraqi ClusterFuck Continues To Fuck the Fuck Up - News Skim, March 10th) Your actions provide comfort and succor to America’s enemies in our most desperate time of need.  Please cancel my subscription." -- R. Jones

Editors Response: News Skim, and it’s parent corporation Dubai Ports World, stand by our commitment to bring you the truth, by reporting the facts on the ground as they happen. It is our strongest belief that learning the truth, however unflattering it may be, will always benefit America, and perhaps more importantly, Dubai.



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"I was shocked and dismayed to read last weeks travelogue (Re: In China They Just Call it 'Food' - News Skim, March 12th) in which you described China as a “backwards and despondent land” where all of its inhabitants “spend every waking second daring God to wipe them off the face of the earth.” You forgot to mention that Chinese people are also all really bad drivers. Please cancel my subscription."  -- D. Henderson

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"Kudos to You News Skim for an excellent article on how to rear a child (re: So You're The Baby Daddy - News Skim, March 6th). However, after reading the list you included in the section "Punishments: Making Them Clear then Sticking To Them," I do have one question: Do you have any advice on how to contact white-slavers in the Midwest? I've tried the Yellow pages and the bulletin board at the community center, but haven't had any luck. Please help!" -- T. Sutter

Editors Response: Perhaps one of our readers in the Midwest can offer some assistance. Anyone?



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"I was shocked and dismayed to see you giving News Skim away for free on the Internet. What the hell am I sending you $18 for each month? Please cancel my subscription." -- B. Jacobs

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"I was shocked and dismayed when I stopped receiving a copy of News Skim every week on my doorstep. After several death-threat and spittle-filled phone calls (apologies to your call centre) I found out that you stopped sending me News Skim because as a prank my 11 year old son had written and asked you to cancel our subscription. He has now been sold into white slavery. Please renew my subscription." -- L. Waylans

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"I was shocked and dismayed by your recent movie review of Oscar nominated film Capote (Re: Capote: Rhymes with Crapote - News Skim, February 9th). You expressed disappointment that there wasn’t a single bank robbery or bootlegging scene in the movie, and gave the film low marks for it’s lack of Tommy gun fight sequences. You need to check your facts, because I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Al Capone, who is actually a separate person entirely. Truman Capote, whom the film was based on, was a homosexual writer in the 50’s and 60’s who wrote a...  [Editor: 16 pages of tiresome pedantry trimmed for length]. Please cancel my subscription." -- S. Sutton.

Editors Response: Perhaps you should check your facts. According to our research staff, homosexuality wasn’t invented until the early 1980’s, as a result of an accident on Castro street in downtown Cuba.  Though some experts claim it was no accident.