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[DNASnatcher]

I curious, PWOTers, how would you describe the one-of-a-kind, un-reproduceable, never-going-to-occur-in-nature taste of energy drinks?  The type of energy drink doesn't really matter.  As long as you're not having one of those weird coffee ones, they all taste about the same.

I've heard them described as tasting like "metal strawberries" and "melted sour-patch kids."  Now it's your turn.  Put your poetry skills to the test.  How would you describe it?

[Navigator2001Plus]

We aren't going to do your homework for you, dude.

[RummyLu]

But my big brother's a policeman so if you don't I'll totally get him to kick you in the face.

[Bakudai]

Ok, you know how when the CIO has just come to your office, and he is upset because it seems that he was at a user meeting and the users were complaining that the systems they were getting weren’t meeting their needs? And because this is a young company and you and your group haven’t been developing systems for very long, you are distressed but you need to come up with an action plan?
They taste like that.

[kicsiviz]

I've never tasted one.  So that's how they taste, like never having tasted one.

[LeCompte]

Ass.

[Bakudai]

No wait, I just tried one and it tasted kind of like blueberry.
I don't know what I was thinking of.

[norumaru]

Like fresh squeezed Gummy Bear juice.

It's not a good thing.

[abbzey]

Like Jolly Ranchers, all the bad flavors, mixed up and allowed to rot. And then carbonated.

[Quagmar]

Energy drinks taste like HURLING MYSELF OVER THE EDGE OF AN XTREEM MOUNTAIN USING A SACK FULL OF FUCKING LIGHTNING AS A PARACHUTE




Also, I think I detected some citrusy notes.

[Kalli]

They taste about as bad as flavoured sodas; terrible.

[MsOrange]

Feet.

Disgusting things really.

[candyphobia]

I haven't ever tasted one, but they smell like electric fart.

[omgitscolin]

Buttsauce.

It's a good thing, really, because how often do you get to use the word "buttsauce"?

[mabudon]

I have tasted only a few sips of a few different kinds.

Every one I tasted has the flavour equivalent of some kind of super-gaudy wallpaper, like from the 60's or 70's, with a lot of green and purple and some sort of metallic elements, but hideous no matter what.

[sr3116]

That is some awesome synesthesia you've got going there.

[shastaniac]

I like to picture him tasting something harmless like porridge and immediately keeling over screaming "OH GOD NOT PAISLEY AGAIN!".

[mabudon]

I think it comes from my mom always saying that skim (skimmed??) milk tastes like blue water (it totally does).

I am not prone to relating colours to everything, but the taste of "energy drinks" is almost Lovecraftian, reminding me of "the colour out of space" which he so ingeniously (and yet totally ridiculously at the same time) described as "not so much a colour, but more of a visible sound".

And making an energy drink called "Paisley" would be a pretty good idea.

[Dr.Kill]

Well I, for one, believe that Monster Energy Drinks© are like a cool, crisp breeze down my throat, followed by a decadent wave of pure sex.  To say that Monster Energy Drinks© are anything other than pure perfection of flavor and wonderment is, well, rather ridiculous! 

In fact I think the only thing that could even match such a delicious concoction is, perhaps, Rockstar Energy Drinks©. Comparing Rockstar Energy Drinks© to a cascade of orgasms doesn't do justice the amazingly energizing effects of Rockstar Energy Drinks©.  One sip of such a beautiful beverage and your tongue will be murdering for more!

[chromigula]

They taste like bawls.