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[awesomeo]

FINALLY!!! I decided to take the "less-than-a-minute"

[Keroman]

Good for you.  This next step will probably take more than a minute: http://www.cracked.com/forums/topic/2/2A-2A-2A-you-must-read-this-before-posting-2A-2A-2A

[Refried Noodle]

What to do with a doomed thread...


l33tsp34k-t1me?

[Kicsi Viz]

After months of surfing this site, I decided to eat some string cheese.

[Mortal Wombat]

What to do with a doomed thread...


l33tsp34k-t1me?

This is a perfect time to point out to people in general that when a thread gets moved to the Hall of Bad Posts, that does not make it a free playground for everyone else to post inane drivel that wouldn't be allowed in other areas of the forum.  That is completely missing the point.

It is also not a free-for-all for everyone to pile additional insults on a dead horse in order to make yourself look good, but that's a topic for another day.

[Kicsi Viz]

Way to make me look bad, Wombat.

[Nedroid]

What it IS, however, is a place to discuss new dance techniques that you are working on.

For example, I'm developing a move I call "The Beyond Perfect Machine," wherein I spin around on my head, legs splayed, and then my momentum actually increases with no influence from outside forces.  I spin faster and faster, eventually achieving liftoff and floating through the air for a minute or more.

The part I need help with is that every time I try this move, I throw up harder than I've ever thrown up before and then I have to lie down for several hours until I stop wishing for death.  As you can imagine, this prevents any further dancing!  And yes, I know, I could save this move for a closer and only do it at the end of my routine, but even then I'd be unable to accept the awards and trophies I will surely be given.

[Wibblewobble]

Do you throw up afterwards, or while you're still spinning through the air?

That would be awesome! Like a Catherine Wheel!

[Nedroid]

It's when I stop.

While spinning, nothing bothers me.  When I spin, the world is a blur and to me that blur looks pretty great.  Spinning is the thing that makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.  Then when I stop I barf.

[jryan]

It sounds like you are building up amazingly concentrated amounts of "awesome energies" with this move.

When you stop, the centrifugal force you build up to contain the awesome actually vanishes sending the awesome flying out of your body (you may notice this as a blindingly bright technocolor flash)... that far less awesome feeling you have is literally a lack of awesome in your body.

I have heard of a treatment, but I warn you that it has both wonderful and catastrophic potentials.

What you can do is wrap yourself in lead foil when you do the spin.... then, when you reach maximum speed, stop very quick.  The Awesome will flash out of your body, bounce off of the lead, and back into your body.

On the catastrophic side, if your inate awesome potentials are not high enough your body will reject the awesome, killing you instantly with a self induced round-house kick.

If you survive you will transform into pure bad-ass awesome.

Here is a picture of the first man to master this transformation:




The choice is yours.