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[Staff]

Saying "Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!!!" and then kicking a fool down some stairs (modern adaptation) will surely make you more attractive in her eyes.

[colsen]

If you ever get hitched, use Staff's suggestion on the first neighbor who gives you a crappy house-warming gift.

[ChadMcMuffin]

tell her you want to invite her to a private toga party.
mention how many snakes Medusa had around her face all the time, then ask if she would like one around hers.
get her into a situation where shes witnessing sex or nudity (IE; strip club, nude beach, internetsite.) and say "when in Rome, do as the Romans do." then wink suggestively.

[PrivateGenitals]

Tell her you've got a Trojan.

[wophugus]

Having seen classicsts flirt (ugh) dozens of times  I can offer some techniques I've actually seen attempted:

Ask her out on a dative of respect, not means.

Memorize this: o keefe

Tell her that idiomatic translations puts the fans in the stands, but solid declension wins championships.  Classicists love that line.

Ask her if she's ever seen calligula and, if not, would she like to with you.

Start calling her Lesbia.  Ask her if she wants to meet your bird.

Anytime you are about to speak for your own benefit, preface it with "legomai ego." 

Act like a gangsta whipping out his gat and shout HOOOOPPPPPLLLLLIIIIIZZZZZZOOOOO at her.  In general, say greek verbs ending in "izzo" as if you are snoopdog.  Say them often; this will never not be funny.

Act enormously awkward to her but indicate some kind of interest, jamming the evidence of real affection into her quiet, titmouse soul.  Date each other like eighth graders for a few years and then get married.  This path was chosen by many of my friends in the classics department. 

Wave your penis at her while bellowing.

Stand in the middle of the room and bellow motionlessly.

Refer to all meet products as goodly beeves.

Standing otherwise motionless in the middle of the room, wave your penis around in lazy circles and bellow at it. 

[Dr. Word]

Or you could just say: Wow! I'll storm Troy for you... Alone

[LightningCount]

....those are all brilliant. Especially the one where I talk like Snoop Dogg, as I do that anyway. Also, I would like to defend myself by pointing out that I'm not the loser that most Classics nerds are. Hell, I'm an English major. Which I think means I'm gay. Crap.

Actually....since I'm going with the Greek angle this should make it easier...

Dr. Word: what does Captain Picards psychiatrist have to do with this?

[Red Bean]

I think "Vidi, vici, veni," has a good ring to it.

You must also say it in exactly this order.

[Dr. Word]

Captain Pichards psychiatrist is there to make you Get Real! Also, as a pickup line: I would choose a life of mortality with you rather than an eternity with Calypso, like Aenaes, the last hero of Troy

[iamainsworth]

Or you could just rape her.  Cut out the middle man.

The middle swan.

[sharamik]

Captain Pichards psychiatrist is there to make you Get Real! Also, as a pickup line: I would choose a life of mortality with you rather than an eternity with Calypso, like Aenaes, the last hero of Troy

That was Odysseus, not Aeneas.

[implode]

"You like ancient history too? Awesome, let's fuck!"

Works every time, she'll never see it coming.

[colsen]

I think "Vidi, vici, veni," has a good ring to it.

You must also say it in exactly this order.

Of course. It wouldn't be neatly as appropriate the original way.

[ulyssesdraco]

I did what now?

[Advetravlr]

 
Wave your penis at her while bellowing.

Stand in the middle of the room and bellow motionlessly.

Standing otherwise motionless in the middle of the room, wave your penis around in lazy circles and bellow at it. 

As a chick just about fresh out of college, this would be what would make me say "Hell yeah!! Lets get busy with my nizzles and your dizzle for shizzle!"

Your post rocked, Wop Wop! Ha ha...

[Lopez]

Play up your manliness by subtly mentioning that you killed Jesus. If she wigs out, cover your ass by saying " . . . but it was totally up to the Jews." 

[sarazen]

Just invite her to the Lupercalia festival.  If she seems to hesitate, tell her you have a great Priapus costume.  That should do the trick.

[sharamik]

Yeah the Lupercalia is a good call, that way you can run around the city limits naked, hitting her with a goatskin thong.

[Uranus]

I still think most chicks would love to get raped by a magical swan.

I know I would.






Wait. What?!

[sadistic midget]

You said,
"I still think most chicks would love to get raped by a magical swan.

I know I would.".

All you had to do was look up like three lines.  Lazy fuck.