Search

[hunty]

A friend of mine came up with this one:

"You and me are like neon gas to an alkali."

For when you need to make sure she's at least past the 10th grade.

I hate to be a dick, but isn't neon a noble gas?

I was thinking that. Wouldn't neon gas and an alkali result in...nothing? Are you nothing to each other? Or at separate ends of the periodic table? Doesn't really make sense, dude.
Try "water to an alkali."

And yes, I hate to be a dick.

[DrMcBell]

I think that's the point. If she points out that that line doesn't make sense, then she made it past the 10th grade.

[MyPiesArePiff]

Ok guys i went to school at Florida State in Tallahassee and i have seen all these pick up lines work by either me, my buddies, or random guys. Girls in Tallahassee are really slutty. (3 colleges in the area: FSU, FAMU, TCC)

Me:
"Have you seen my bed yet?"
"When you gonna fuck your boy Tony? I'm pretty and asian."

My Buddies:
"Hey girl, what you know bout some head?"
"Look are we gonna do this or not? I'm not gonna wait all night"
"Lets go watch a movie in my bedroom." (the room has no tv or dvd player)

Random Guys:
"Hey girl let me holla at you for a minute. (girl  keeps walking) Ok let me holla at you for 45 seconds, i know you got 45 seconds. (girl keeps walking) Girl I know you got 30 seconds to let me holla at you. (girl keeps walking) Ok Ok  girl all i need is 15...no 30 seconds. I know you aint too busy for that. (girl finally stops to talk to him)
"Damn girl those are some big ass titties. I just wanna rape them titties."

I'm sure there are tons of lines i forgot over the years but i swear that 100% of these lines worked. Some bitches are too easy and stupid.

[Whelan]

Guy:"Have you got a fat penguin?"
Girl: "What?"
Guy:"Well I wanted to break the ice"

[Daveworksunion]

My all time favorite, and as a man of no greater than average attractiveness, it is one of very few pickup lines I have received, makes sense in the context of being offered in Arkansas.  It went as follows:

Hi, you look like a Jew.  Where are you from?

And that woman is now my wife.  (all true except for the heartwarming conclusion).

[Uranus]

You smell like warm cookies and cocaine.

[Capt.Scumbag]

1. (Find a woman standing up)  Excuse me miss...you look uncomfortable, let me clear off a place for you to sit. (While pretending to dust off your face/lap with your hand)

2. "I bet I can make you squirt into that cup across the room"

3.  "Your legs look like a million bucks, lets spread the wealth."

4.  "Come sit on my face and tell me what you want for Christmas."

[Car Ram Rod]

Well its not exactly the worst pickup line, but just recently I was joking around with a girl I like and I said "Oh, you've got something on your shoulder there" and put my arm around her. She called it smooth, and seemed serious, so what do you guys think. Good or not?

[paint.it.black]

"Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Coz I can see myself in your pants."

"Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

"Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"I bet you $50 bucks that you're gonna turn me down."

"Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus."

"Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street. "

"Screw me if I'm wrong, but have we met before?"

Errr...that's it I think!
 
 

[ZenParadigm]

I have never been able to pull this one off as I am not cocky enough, but if you have big enough cahones, give this one a try:

"You seem really cool, it's too bad you don't have more sex appeal."

Eighty percent of the time it works all the time.

I have seen my buddy use this one twice now, and both times the woman was so taken aback by the thought of her not being sexualy appealing that she was practically begging him for the chance to prove him wrong.  At least its gonna be funny, no matter the result.

[AcidMonkey]

Personally, I find that "You look like my mom, and my mom turns me on!" works best.

[n=mc^2]

This wasn't used, but on the way to church my godmother told me that the most effective line would be "What's a nice sinner like you doin' in a place like this?"

[Pino]

Once I used the ''If I could rearrange the alphabet''-line. She looked at me and replied:

''If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put Y and U together.''

I cried.

[BullshitGod]

Hey baby! Do I look like the guy that's going to be driving you to the abortion clinic in about 2 months?

[DeathByOranges]

Pirate Pick-up Line
I'd like to drop anchor in your lagoon

Lab Tech Pick-up Line
If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes.

Random Line
You must be an alien, because you're out of this world

Random Line 2
Is your nickname math? Cause I could study you all day long.

Random Line 3
Do you have a shovel? Cause I'm digging you.

I like my women like I like my coffee:
Ground up and stored in the freezer.

[mrs.bombastic]

Baby tonight I'm gonna treat you like my homework. I'm gonna slam you on my desk and do you all night long!"

[Accountminute]

"Do you like diamonds? Then suck my cock because it's a gem!"

"Nice legs. What time do they open?"

"My teeth feel a bit fuzzy. Can I floss them with your pubic hair?"

[OddBodkin]

I have money, and I'm willing to spend it on you.

[EdgedThesis]

"Baby you must be Jamaican, 'cause Jamaican me boner."


...Best modification to that old one. Right to the point.

[ex.belle]

One I got the other day:

"Now THOSE are what I call a Venti Mocha!"

Referring to my boobs.  I was holding a cup of Starbucks.  I fucked the guy right there.