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[SlickityMuffet]

him: hi.
me: hi.
 him: so havin fun?
me: cut the crap.
him:what?
me:cut the crap, I don't have time for Bs I have to work tomorrow, are we doing this?
him:what is your name?
me:Jesus H......(insert fake first name) (insert fake job title)
him:cool......................

[itchy-ears]

i have three that stick with me.

one was when i was applebee's and the waiter asked me how my steak was.. and then asked me if he can cut my meat. not sure if it was a pick up line but it was weird

when i was walking in the mall somme guy came up to me and said "oh my god i have fallen in love with your eyes." and he just stared at me and then said " the best we i can describe it is, like when ur in bed on a sunday morning and dont ever want to get up."

and then the last one was i was at the car dealer and there were some guys washing the cars and the dude said  "if i was ur car cana hava ur numba"

[FishBulb]

Here's how I met my wife. I was in a Family Mart in Sasebo, Ja. buying some Chu Hi's. Two pretty Japanese girls standing in front of me in line caught my eye. I had been studying a few lines in Japanese earlier that day, namely "what is your name?" and"can I get your phone number?"
"Konichiwa, hajimemashte. Anata wa totemo kidae des ne." I said smiling.  One of the girls answered back in the cutest most girlish sounding broken English, "oh, you speak Ni Hon Go"
"Sacoshi des. Do you speak English?" I said . "Sacoshi" she replied. After that communication kind of broke down, I resorted to exaggerated body language and comical facial expressions. I had to mix my English and Japanese in a way to make her understand, we struggled to converse while the customers behind us in line were getting quite annoyed. I somehow managed convince her that I could teach her English and that she should give me her phone number so that we could make a study date. She gave me her number, I called her a few days after that,  and three study sessions later she was pregnant with our first child. The funny thing is, it's been 5 years of marriage and I still haven't followed through on my original pick-up  line's promise to teach her English. I guess it's not so much funny as just plain sad. Guys really are pigs.

[notahorse]

I find my old leather pants from when I went to a Whitesnake concert. The pants were a little small then so now it takes me half-an-hour to put them on, but it's totally wort it. Then I buy a cucumber and stuff it down my pants and go to the local elemetary school to pick-up hot single moms. So I stand just outside the school and show off the cucumber in my pants while I say things like "I just love kids". After four years it has yet to get me laid. Getting alot of running and screaming though.

[Gandark]

"I love the feel of a good penis in my ass.. You look like someone who would too! Let me show you!"

"I was going to jack off over that picture of you, but seemso you are here.."

[Shackleford]

Do you have a contagious case of tourettes? cuz you make me want to FUCK YOUR ASS!

Is your daddy a plumber? cuz you make me wanna shit myself. (said to a fat chick)

Is your daddy a boy scout? cuz you make me want to pitch a tent.

[WaffleCopter]

A friend of mine came up with this one:

"You and me are like neon gas to an alkali."

For when you need to make sure she's at least past the 10th grade.

[The Dabe]

Girl at Cash Register : This is my phone, it's name is Fred
Me : Uh. Hi Fred?
Girl at Cash Register : Give me your number, he'll text hi back.

[uw710]

ok my friends made me use this one at a highschool football game a week ago, "is your refrigerator running? (she says yes) because i want to fuck you."

[Skittles McBride]

Is that a keg in your pants, cause I wanna tap that ass.

So do the curtains match the drapes?

Fucking me is like riding a merry go round you get on with a bunch of kids and I'm the only one that gets off.

Damn girl did you stuff Dom Delouise in your pants or do you just have a big ass?

[MichaelBryn]

"you are sooo hot I wouldn't even bury you right away"

[DoesYrFaceHurt?]

[/quote]

One of my mate's personal variation on this one: "Get your coat love, I've got a knife"

Another friend says he will marry the girl who responds positively to "I'm TCP and you're IP, why don't you come to my place and inspect my packet."
[/quote]

I sure hope he never experiences packet loss!

Pickup line used on me by cashier at random gas station:
Him:  Do you come here often?
Me:  *blink, blink, ponder*

[Negative-Ninja]

I do remember after a lot of drinks approaching someone and on my way seeing a broom, picking it up and saying to her "hey there, I just came along to sweep you off your feet" and whilst being impressed at my ability to think on my feet whilst being this drunk falling over and she still ended up going out with me, good times
I always I enjoy my best friends "I'd hit that, and drag her home unconscious, light a few candels and put the sensual back into non-consensual" 

[Helter Skelter]

sort of pick-up covnersation at a party about a month ago...

guy1: you have the longest eyelashes
girl1: thanks, i guess
girl2: she gets that all the time
guy1: no really they're amazing
guy2: could you bat them?
girl1: *bats them, puzzled*
girl2: she can't wear glasses because fo their length
guy2: really? wow, they're amazing, are they real?
*more rambling about eyelashes*
guy2: could you close your eyes so we can see them better?
girl1: *closes her eyes*
guy1: *kisses girl1*

i thought it was real sweet, comapred to other guys who just grab me by my waist in a caveman way.

[sb1975]

this was actually said to me...

"i want you to shit in my mouth then i'm gonna fuck you all night"

[Horbags]

this was actually said to me...

"i want you to shit in my mouth then i'm gonna fuck you all night"

So....what happened?

Heres a couple of favorites:

"Wow!, i like your outfit, it would look great stuffed into a duffel bag and hidden in the woods behind my house"

"Id crawl over broken glass on my hands and knees just to suck the dick of the last guy that fucked you"

[sb1975]

what do you think? i married him.

[Metacomet]

A friend of mine came up with this one:

"You and me are like neon gas to an alkali."

For when you need to make sure she's at least past the 10th grade.

I hate to be a dick, but isn't neon a noble gas?

[IratePirate]

Guy - "Wow. Can I buy you a drink? You look exactly like-"

Gal - "Meg Ryan? I get that alot."

Guy - "-my mommy."

[Staff]

Pickup line used on me by cashier at random gas station:
Him:  Do you come here often?
Me:  *blink, blink, ponder*

Well better the cashier using it on you than some guy in the gas station bathroom.