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Disfigurine
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« Reply #200 on: August 01, 2008, 05:18 PM »
Do you work at Subway?

'Cause you gave me a foot long.
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Illiterati
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« Reply #201 on: August 01, 2008, 05:35 PM »
This actually happened:

Me: Excuse me, miss, but are you a prostitute? Because you sure do look like one.

Girl: What? Get the fuck out of my face, you weirdo!

Me: No, no. You misunderstand me. That was a compliment, actually. What I meant was that you look like a whore. I like whores.

Girl: Uh, ooookay. (starts to back off)

Me: Indeed. Now, how much would you charge for a night with me?

(The girl remains silent, while still slowly backing off)

Me: You have very nice skin. I wonder if they'd... (I shake my head) No, it would probably...

(The girl is now running away from me)

Me: It would seem that my pick-up line has failed. I must rethink my strategy.

(I then go home and masturbate to horse porn)
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ChuggleTheNugs
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« Reply #202 on: August 01, 2008, 05:53 PM »
Quote from: Lt. Chimpo on April 15, 2008, 12:10 AM
"You know what I like in a girl?" (What?) "My dick" (turtle, drama and e: Ohhhhhhhhhhh!)


But seriously, you want a pickup line it's:
"Hi, having fun tonight?" yes, no? "Who are you here with?" then ask simply make shit up: "Did you see those two girls fighting outside?" then lay on some bs story about a chick fight, "have you ever fought with a girl/friend/boyfriend?" (you kinda have to feel out the body language at this point), then listen to their story, say you had fun talking to them but the people you're with are going to head to another bar, "this has been fun, what do we have to do to continue this conversation?"    at this point you'd hope she'll toss out her phone number, rather than "get my boyfriend's permission"


Thats from The Game, by Neil Strauss. Nice try though. sorry dont have a pick up line. I just stare long enough until they come to me and ask what im staring at, then boning ensues.
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Melancholic Goat
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« Reply #203 on: August 01, 2008, 05:54 PM »
Quote from: Illiterati on August 01, 2008, 05:35 PM
(I then go home and masturbate to horse porn)

I use this pickup line nightly and I have never failed to have a good time.
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Driscoll
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« Reply #204 on: August 01, 2008, 06:34 PM »
Is there a mirror in your pocket? That's cool, pocket sized mirrors are cool. I have one too, for reading things painted on ambulances. To check if they are spelled correctly. That is my job. I work at an ambulance factory. I'm kidding,  those are all lies I just told you. Hello, my name is Ben. I am thinking about rearranging the alphabet, just to inconvenience all the kindergartens in the world. I have not decided on a specific order for the letters yet. I will get back to you about that.
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SkinJob
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« Reply #205 on: August 01, 2008, 06:56 PM »
Take me now, Driscoll.
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NZSkep
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no


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« Reply #206 on: August 01, 2008, 10:25 PM »
(an oldie)

I hope you like chicken, cos my cock tastes fowl
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I tell ya Travis, when it comes to feeling good, I'd rate pissing right up there with cumming and shitting
minivanmonkey
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« Reply #207 on: August 01, 2008, 11:07 PM »
Can You Come Back To My Farm So I Can Plow You?

or just

I want to plow you. and it has to be with a straight face and in an unemotional voice.
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ajw194
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« Reply #208 on: August 01, 2008, 11:55 PM »
Have you ever sucked on 10 1/2 inches.
Blow me.


And good luck finding a guy who's 10 1/2 inches.
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People are very ignorant of of ignorant people. For us waiting 5 seconds to before we judge people would be like you waiting five years to take a dump after eating Taco Bell.
DrMcBell
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« Reply #209 on: August 02, 2008, 05:41 AM »
Wanna have sex?
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FuzzyLush
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« Reply #210 on: August 02, 2008, 06:54 AM »
"So, are you better than that guy?"  This one has worked on women and men...at the same time.
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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off."
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Moonburger
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« Reply #211 on: August 03, 2008, 12:25 PM »
Wanna carpool?
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SpankythePig
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« Reply #212 on: August 09, 2008, 01:30 AM »
Sorry if this one has been used.

"Hey I'm blind, can I read your shirt in brail?"

"If you were my drums, I'd bang you all day long."
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McLargeHuge
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« Reply #213 on: August 09, 2008, 04:12 AM »
- Hey... I think you look really good, really tall, and stuff... Would you like to do something next week?

- Well, you're really drunk and I'm at work (bartending) so, maybe come back some other time, when you're sober?

- But I'm always drunk when we're here at the same time.

Still going out with her.
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jalfred
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Don't just stare at it


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« Reply #214 on: August 11, 2008, 06:36 PM »
Get in the car bitch i have a gun.
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Papashah
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« Reply #215 on: August 11, 2008, 10:26 PM »
Me: Act really uncomfortable if you want to have freaky Furry sex.
Her: *uncomfortable*
Me: SCORE!
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Altair
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You're my beach!


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« Reply #216 on: August 11, 2008, 11:49 PM »
If I could rearrange the alphabet, can I have your number?
Never used it.
You guys beta test it for me.
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PeanutButter
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« Reply #217 on: August 18, 2008, 11:26 AM »
"So, I noticed you're a girl."

"So, are you a girl, or what?"

"You know how they say that your tongue is the biggest muscle in your body? Well, I can have an even BIGGER muscle in your body in less than five minutes, but if you want it ALL tongue, then I can do that too."
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Mr_Hym
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« Reply #218 on: August 18, 2008, 06:57 PM »
One of my friends actually tried this one: "Is that a vagina in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

My friends and I played Creepy Chicken once, we just walked up to random people and said, "So....anal?", and see who we could get to stand there for the longest.
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"Whats black and bangs on the window? A baby in the microwave."
Hyuga_masteR
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stupid dog shut up!!!


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« Reply #219 on: August 19, 2008, 04:37 AM »
"I'm like a rubix cube. The more you play with me the harder I get ;D"
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