Ayveq, the walrus whose bizarre, though oddly compelling, masturbation rituals made him an international sensation at the New York Aquarium, has died. He was 14.

Though well-liked long before he discovered the habit that would make him a star, Ayveq’s frequent public self-gratification made him the Coney Island institution’s singular attraction…

Pretty interesting guide.

From the comments: “Everyone in England makes bread that way.”

Cracked’s Lex Friedman sent me that.

I get asked the same question in every single interview I’ve done (that is, both of them): Who were my influences growing up? Who do I aspire to be?

My first answer, without hesitation, is Mr. Awesome:

“OK, poop is coming out.”

From the forums.

There I am, at Borders book store, on the shelf next to real authors:

Positioned so the whole cover shows and everything.

That is so, so wrong.

This just goes so completely, hilariously wrong.

As crazy as this guy is, I have to credit him for giving me my new band name:

Pussy Renaissance.

That’s part of a ring of guys claiming calling themselves the TFL movement (True Forced Loneliness) where they believe they have been forced to live lonely sexless lives due to a vast conspiracy of females who are intentionally shutting them out to make them miserable. See the related videos for more.

It’s either the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen, or one of the most awesome internet hoaxes of all time. There’s this whole ongoing plot where the movement has split into factions and then the guy in the above-linked video got ousted because I believe he had sex with a woman, thus undermining the entire movement.

There’s something really profound to be said here, about the nature of humanity at its lowest and how self-centered we become when we’re desperate, believing the whole world revolves around our failures. But the whole thing is bumming me out to the point that thinking about it makes me sleepy.

Wondermark takes a book idea I had and distills it down into a single comic strip.

What’s your hit album?

The first article title on this page is the name of your band.

The last four words of the very last quote on this page is the title of your album.

The third picture shown here is your album cover.

We’ve been doing this in the forums for months, and the results are six kinds of awesome.

And then, some people take it to a whole new level.