I have nothing to say in defense of this. It is The Scientology Song, and I am sorry.

The cat’s pretty much out of the bag. This was the “big news” I had been hinting at for months.

Read the announcement in Fangoria.

Don Coscarelli, the guy who did Bubba Ho Tep and the Phantasm series, has bought the film rights to my ridiculous horror novel John Dies at the End. He contacted me in November and it’s taken from then until now to get the paperwork together with the lawyers and all that.

Here’s an interview I did with Apex Digest where I mentioned it.

So there it is, kids. No matter how incredibly retarded your dream is, it can still come true. We’re all talking about it in the forums.

I’ve been fascinated with this subject for a while, the fact that in order to spread, it’s more important for a piece of information to be striking than true. So I started looking into how people would fake these videos (or at least the backstories) to make them go “viral” and I think there’s something crucial to be learned there, about how mythology evolves to whatever truth makes it spread the fastest. How much truth is lost seems to depend on the size of the audience.

Or something like that, I realized it a couple of days ago and I’ve pretty much forgotten it since then. It’s probably the subject of another article anyway. In the mean time, I hope you enjoy this one.

Digg it.

Yes, I realize many of you knew arleady that some of these videos were staged, please do not take the title as a factual guarantee or accusation of ignorance. If any of you were offended by that

inflammatory title, I offer this animated gif of a man kicking a horse in the cock.

Thanks to Keroman in the forums for making that. See post below for context.

New article coming tomorrow. By far the most valuable thing I learned in the research was that the title of this french video of a teacher beating the shit out of his classroom is “Prof qui pète un cable” which translated is “Teacher farts a cable.” Maybe something got lost in the translation, maybe not, but what’s important is that we adopt “farts a cable” as a common phrase for people who lose their temper. There is nothing in english that matches it.

In the unsung heroes department, we have the guy in the white shirt who shows up at 1:30 of this video and starts delivering his own brand of justice. Watch it once to appreciate his persistence… and then watch it a second time to notice him walk in from the right, on the sidewalk. That’s right, he’s just a passerby. He saw his opportunity, and took it.

Did you see the results of the retarded photoshop contest referenced a couple of inches below? The results are HERE. That went pretty well, so we decided to have another one. CLICK HERE if you want to enter. Winner gets 50 bucks.

You JDatE fans who are following the story for the first time, the finale will be posted in a few hours (evening of Feb 4th) over at the official site.