Ever gotten into an argument about the existence of God? And did everybody involved quickly start acting like flaming douchebags?

Well, this is for you.

PWoT friend and genius Nedroid has invented what may be my new favorite thing: Dinosaur Warlock.

“I’m also a warlock!”Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 2a

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5

For those of you still not sold on this whole internet thing, I’ve got two gorgeous examples of what the old-school internet and this new “internet 2.0″ they’re talking about have to offer.

First, we’ve got what started out as an innocent article on the “old as the web itself” movie fan site Ain’t It Cool News, bitching about how terrible Die Hard 4 looks. In the comments from the AICN retards, suddenly Walter B shows up and starts defending the movie, claiming he “worked on” all four films.

Eventually, the AICN geeks goaded Walter into admitting he was, in fact, Bruce Willis, who got in touch with webmaster Harry Knowles by phone and set up special posting privileges to prove it was him. Here he is showing some dork his tattoo.

So he spent quite a bit of time in that thread getting into a flame war with the geeks and then the site set up this dedicated “talk to Bruce” thread, this multi-millionaire superstar being forced to plead his case to the basement-dwellers whose buzz can kill his film.

So, if that’s what the old-school internet can gives us, what does Web 2.0, the YouTube generation, have to offer? THIS.

You’ll be tempted to turn that off about a minute in. Don’t. Wait until the 2:00 mark, then that guy humps his way onto the screen. Then wait for the credits - yes, there are credits - and realize that somebody was in charge of choreography.

Seriously. Go watch it. There are spoilers ahead, and you don’t want to be spoiled.

Done? Okay. Now… if that video had been one guy, alone, humping an ottoman, I’d be willing to let that go unnoticed. There’s always one guy willing to do anything for a viral video. But… this is like five guys. Guys who, at some point, had a conversation. A suggestion was floated. A suggestion for a video, in which they, for completely non-comedy reasons, all get together and, over music, hump an ottoman.

The other four heard that suggestion, considered it, agreed to it, arranged a time, arrived in costume, choreographed it, presumably practiced it, brought it up on their monitor to edit and add the graphics, approved of it, and uploaded it for a billion internet users to see.

It’s those last two steps that get me. Seeing the video playing out, on the screen, stepping outside yourself and seeing it as the world will see it… there was ample opportunity there to throw on the brakes. “Wait, guys… is that what we were doin’? Ya know, ’cause it kinda had a different feel to it at the time. Now, don’t take this the wrong way, we all respect each other’s work… but I’m not sure this comes off on screen the way we all envisioned it.”

So here’s what happened. I had, on my PC, two sessions of Word open, where I was editing penis jokes into .php files for feature updates. Plus an Excel spreadsheet with all my household finances on it, plus a separate Word document with notes for a project I’m working on with… another guy. Anyway, I need to scan a thing for one of those projects, and realize I have to dig out and plug in my USB scanner. I power down the PC, plug in the USB cable, hit the power switch… and nothing. The PC never comes on again.

Six hours of labor and tech support troubleshooting later, I head out into the night and just buy a fucking new computer off the shelf. I work all night and sleep for four hours and then work for 14 more hours today, trying to retrieve my life off the old machine and restore it onto the new one.

The feature articles now exist as fragmented notes that were saved beforehand (”intro… something about eels? use example re: hindenburg…. NEED JOKE HERE…”), I’m $700 poorer, I’m stuck with Vista, an operating system that seems to have been coded specifically as a cruel, personal joke on me, and when I called MS customer support to ask about one non-working feature, the guy told me in an Indian accent that the Vista support department didn’t have Vista installed on their system and that I’d have to have patience while they worked around that.

Anyway, while I was gone World of Starcraft became a reality. Which means we’ve only got eleven more to go.

And if that doesn’t cheer you up, this will.

First, watch THIS.

And since I’m in the process of turning this into pretty much a Brad Neely fan site, I thought I’d post the lyrics to his awesome Role Play Tournament Rap video linked above. Thanks to Staff in the forums for transcribing them:

_______________________

Be aggressive
B-E aggressive
Be aggressive
B-E aggressive

Just one girly at the tourny
and it’s kill or be killed
The dungeon master is the bastard
known as Pliny the Ill

But, I- I could feel it
Coming through the air that night
Oh Lord, my swords out
Jesus just avert your eyes

Took me years to develop these skills
I’m untouchable thanks to these pills
The way is paved with knaves that have already been slain
See me comin’ better run for those hills

Listen up now,
You got me killin’
Uh, you got me blind to feelings
I crush your face, I take your jewels
You have no way of dealin’

Be aggressive
B-E aggressive
Be aggressive
B-E aggressive

Mirror mirror, unh
Up on the wall, unh
Who’s the baddest motherfucker of them all, unh
Just like Columbus, unh, he get the blood lust
Just like Columbus, he get murderous on purpose

You got me hurtin’, uh
You got me pullin’ curtains
You suckin’ chili dogs
While I go on my crazed berserkin’

Be aggressive
B-E aggressive
Be aggressive
B-E aggressive

Tens, and twentys? What’s so funny?
Fuckin’ Twenty-ten!
Sweet Jesus, please just get me through this
Take me home again

But I’m all up in the deathworld- Snap.
Rub a bump in the deathworld- Shit.
I’m all heavy with my winnings not to mention all the sinning
and I lost it in the deathworld, crap.

In the valley of the shadow a boo-berry attacked
He was the hitman of the girly who survived to the last
She was the cutest necromancer I ever did see
I almost wished myself to die so she could win the whole thing

But, but
Be aggressive
B-E aggressive
Be aggressive
B-E aggressive

I have not one, but two feature articles in the works, still laying on my desk in pieces. It’d be great if I had them both up on Monday May 7th but who knows.

There’s lots going on that’s kept me busy, a lot I can’t really talk about. I had that one project with John and one potentially life-changing project with another guy who you know, plus the JDatE edits for the upcoming spectacular published release (have you pre-ordered a copy yet?).

Plus I’m still working full time at that tattoo shop, and I bought a large bookshelf that I spent all yesterday evening assembling. My lawn is growing out of control. I haven’t touched my Wii since the Ides of March. Yesterday, my elderly neighbor innocently asked me if I could help her move a sofa, and I responded by threatening to inflate her skull with my farts.

It’s all good, though. Things seem to be happening and hopefully it won’t all turn into a long string of embarrassing failures.