The increasingly crazy gaming activist Jack Thompson has set a new precedent in legal history by being the first attorney ever to use the “NOT!” joke in a briefing. It’s part of his new legal action against the readers who posted comments on the gaming blog Kotaku (they have a link to the PDF of the briefing HERE if you don’t believe me - the “NOT!” is on page 27).

Thompson had made it into the news recently for saying, within seconds of the shooting, that the Virginia Tech killer played violent video games. When it came out later that the kid apparently hadn’t played any such games in years, Jack went on TV and declared that we KNOW the kid played violent video games, because he went on a shooting rampage. And nothing else can make a person do that. Hey, listen to him say it for yourself.

Massively absent from Thompson’s comments this time are any references to the scourge of society Grand Theft Auto. Why? Because that company sued him and he settled it by agreeing to never mention games by that company ever again and to never accuse them of wrongdoing. Knowing that, watch the above-referenced clip and notice how desperately he grasps for other examples of games.

I’ve sort of stood up for Jack in the past (see Five Reasons Jack Thompson is Right) but mostly out of my belief that we need someone credible who can criticize some of the bullshit we see in gaming without the guy also being batshit insane. You don’t have to be insane to hate the way women are portrayed in DoA, for instance. But Jack’s nuttiness makes it almost impossible to talk about graphic sexism and violence in gaming without feeling like you’re sitting in the same boat as he, hurtling down the rapids toward a 100-foot drop off Crazy Fucker Falls. And that’s just one more reason to hate him.

So there’s this guy from Australia or New Zealand or Germany or one of those countries in that region, who’s been posting on my forums for like, a quarter of his life. Since 2000 or so. A few weeks ago that guy shows up and says his home was burglarized and that among the lost items was his web camera.

Now the guy had used that camera to shoot things like this, which brought us all great joy. So, in typical PWoT fashion, we snapped into action and chipped in and helped him buy a new camera, restoring some balance to the universe. Now he has the new camera and made this three-minute video to thank us. Note that due to his unique style, the three-minute video runs nearly eleven minutes long.

Anyway, I thought that was pretty cool. We’re talking about it in the forums.

Combine one torturous fan-made Super Mario Bros. level, and one man determined to beat it, and you get this work of art. Turn up your speakers.

So… other than the mass murder on Virginia Tech’s campus, we got this, which got buried in the news:

Just outside of Baltimore, on April 14th, a two year-old toddler goes sliding down a slide at a public playground. The kid starts screaming, his clothes start crumbling away.

It turns out someone put sulfuric acid on the slide, and all the other playground equipment. Industrial-strength drain cleaner. The kid’s in intensive care, getting skin grafts. He’ll be hospitalized for months. I know, it sounds like one of those retarded e-mail forward urban legends. It’s not.

Okay. Fine. So there’s one crazy person. Maybe a crazy dad, involved in a custody dispute, loses his shit and does this. But wait. It turns out, just two days before, the same thing had happened near Austin, Texas. 1,500 miles away, another playground, more stolen acid, poured on slides and other playground equipment. Another burned 2 year-old.

This isn’t a serial thing, either. Different people. The Austin thing was a couple of local teenagers.

So… what the fuck? Was this something that happened in some movie, that kids are now imitating? It doesn’t seem like the Austin thing was a big enough story to inspire copycats (it wasn’t on the national wires, as far as I know) so I’m at a loss here. Is there some unified telepathy among psychopaths? Somebody help me out. We’re in the forums.

You know how sometimes you wish you could trade lives with someone? Today, I sort of wish I had the CompuBeaver lady’s life. As in, someone who had the time, resources and desire to build a PC inside the body of a stuffed beaver.