So you take a tiny compact car, paint it up like the space shuttle, bolt it to some huge rockets, and this happens. That’s from the British show Top Gear, brought to my attention by Mr. Matt from the PWoT forums.

Then, some other guy has rigged up the most awesome if not impractical car anti-theft device, made all the funnier by the fact that it’s around a car hardly worth stealing:

Here is a video on how to get your mail delivered faster at no extra charge. Here’s one on how to keep your produce fresh. Really interesting and really helpful and not very funny, until you realize they’re total bullshit. The one on how to recharge batteries gives the game away a little bit. Still, amazing, straight-faced idiocy.

Thanks to Bakudai in the forums for pointing this out.

Look, as a Bears fan, I basically had one big concern going into last night’s Super Bowl: That Prince was going to whip out his penis at half time. You’d get the media firestorm, the FCC fines, round-the-clock Prince dick coverage and the game rendered a footnote.

Well, right before halftime I paused the game (watching it on my DVR-enabled dish thingy) and while it was paused, my phone rings. The caller ID says it’s my friend John. I stared at the phone, turned to my wife and said, “OH, SHIT JOHN’S CALLING TO SAY PRINCE WHIPPED OUT HIS COCK AT HALFTIME.”

I yanked the phone out of the wall and unpaused the show, and was obviously relieved. Not sure what John wanted, probably some kind of emergency. I’m going to bed.

Anyway, some of you know that Mike Nelson, the genius behind Mystery Science Theater 3000, which was the last piece of entertainment that I ever really got excited about, has a site called Riff Trax with downloadable MP3’s of MST3K-style movie commentary. And while I’m stuck here using four commas in a sentence, internet superstar Lowtax of Something Awful fame has gotten to sit in with Mike and do a Riff Trax commentary.

For me, that would be like getting to play a game of one-on-one with Michael Jordan. That’s the status Mike Nelson holds in my mind. And while I know I could never stop Jordan from dunking over me, I’d be nailing jumpers all day. Let’s face it, his defense was never that great. If he’s scoring two every time, and I’m scoring three, who’s gonna win that one? That’s right. I was actually going to play professional ball but I won’t shower with others for fear everyone nearby will be unable to control their lust.