I’m leaving town on Thursday, so we begin the lazy countdown to the Christmas break. I should still have a new AoJaD tomorrow, but for today I just sat down and transcribed My Dick in a Box:

Hey, girl

I got somethin’ real important to give you

So just sit down, and listen.

Girl you know we been together, such a long, long time

(Such a long time…)

And now I’m ready, to lay it on the line

Well, you know it’s Christmas

And my heart is open wide

Gonna give you somethin’ so you know what’s on my mind

(What’s on my mind…)

A gift real special

So take off the top

Take a look inside

It’s my dick in a box.

Not gonna get you a diamond ring

That sort of gift don’t mean anything

Not gonna get you a fancy car

Girl you gotta know you’re my shining star

Not gonna get you a house in the hills

A girl like you needs somethin’ real

I wanna get you somethin’ from the heart

Somethin’ special, girl

It’s my dick in a box.

My dick in a box, babe

It’s my dick in a box.

(Oooooo-Oooohhhh)

My dick in a box, girl

See I’m wise enough to know when a gift needs givin’

And I got just the one

Somethin’ to show you that you are second to none

To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress

It’s easy to do, just follow these steps

One-

Cut a hole in a box

Two-

Put your junk in that box

Three-

Make her open the box

And that’s the way you do it.

It’s my dick in a box.

My dick in a box, babe

It’s my dick in a box.

(Oooooo-Oooohhhh)

My dick in a box, girl

Christmas:

Dick in a box

Hannukah:

Dick in a box

Kwanzaa:

Dick in a box

Every single holiday, a dick in a box

Over at your parents’ house, a dick in a box

Mayday at the grocery store, a dick in a box

Back stage at the CMA’s, a dick in a box

Yeah, a well well well well…

My dick in a box… dick in a box…

The video, which you can vote for in The Mirth Canal.