“There’s no code, John.”

“Book of Matthew, start with the third Chapter, three being the holiest number. Count back every seventh word in the original language. Not Hebrew. Greek.”

“Oh, I see. I see. It was a code so complicated that no scholar has spotted it before now. A code so ingenius, only a complete retard could break it.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

I stood and pushed back my chair. “Well, time for my nap.”

“Oh, we’ll be napping soon enough my friend. On beds made of money. You see, what I’ve found here are coordinates, pinpointing an exact location Syria. I can find it within ten yards.”

“And that’s, what, Jesus’s birthplace?”

“Better. It’s the location, David, of Jesus’s gold.”

I pimp-slapped John with my stare.

“Jesus’s gold. That’s what you said? You know Jesus was a carpenter.”

“He was also the son of God, which means he could see into the future. Legend has it that Jesus invested wisely, my friend. I believe the buried stash contains almost 100 drachma.”

“And how much is that?”

“More than five thousand dollars.”

I sat down again, suddenly no strength in my legs.

“Son of a bitch. I could pay off part of that Visa card.”

“And I could finally afford a down payment on my penis reduction surgery.”

I stood and put on my cloak.

“My friend, we’re going to Syria.”