The Oozinator
by David Wong
Did anybody in the room see a problem with that? Are they all kindly toy makers who never heard the word “bukkake” and who don’t feel the need to make such crass connections? Did no one speak up and say, “You know, Eunice, that kind of looks like those young boys are a shootin’ each other with the man-chowder.”
I plan to make this a regular feature, as my advancing age brings on these periods of quiet reflection. Specifically, I ponder the terrible human toll of comedy.
For instance, I was laying in bed last night and wondering if anybody got fired over the Oozinator. I and about 100 million other people have been making fun of their commercial for about six weeks now because it looks like the children are ejaculating on each other.
Did anybody in the room see a problem with that? Are they all kindly toy makers who never heard the word “bukkake” and who don’t feel the need to make such crass connections? Did no one speak up and say, “You know, Eunice, that kind of looks like those young boys are a shootin’ each other with the man-chowder.”
Well if not, I say that’s pretty cool. Those people have protected themselves in a society obsessed with crudeness. And if Eunice got fired because that commercial became the most-watched commercial in Hasbro history and because the Amazon.com customers tagged it The Xenophallus, well, I hope she lands on her feet.
